Long Overdue!

Well, I tried to post this once earlier in the holidays but it didn't post, not sure what the issue is/was, but I'm trying again...

Kadin has come a long ways in the past few months.  It seems that he just started doing everything at once.  Once he learned to army crawl, the "normal" crawling was upon us before we knew it ... and though his therapists kept saying that he needed to be sitting up before he crawled, he did both within a few weeks of each other (crawling first) and it didn't seem to make much difference in him.  HE IS DETERMINED!  He began crawling and then sitting himself up on his side, then he was finally strong enough to sit all the way up and now, today, he is pulling himself up onto everything and cruizing along furniture, walls, doors, ANYTHING he can hold onto, he is GONE! lol  He is so precious!

Kadin was sick for a couple of months and we were really concerned.  I was having to give him breathing treatments two and three times a day, he rattled, he coughed, he threw up ... it was not easy and definitely not pretty, but we managed our way thru it and today he is just fine ... guess it was mostly allergies because no one has really been sick.  We went to the doctor once every week for a couple of months so they could monitor his sats and even had some xrays to check for pneumonia and any other infection that was keeping him stirred up ... glad all of that is over now.

Our little man is even clapping now.  He claps when he is happy or when he likes something, especially if you ask him if he wants a bottle and his answer is to clap, that means YES!  He also throws his hands and arms up in the air when we say YAY! ha ha  It's so precious.  He laughs uncontrollably when you growl, and he even growls when he wants something (like food) and needs to get your attention!

I can not believe how much this baby is eating.  I have to feed him about six or seven times a day.  He eats big people food and really turns his nose up at baby food ... but he just barely has 2 teeth showing so he can't eat much other than soft mushy things.  It's still awesome to see him enjoy all of our meals with us.  If you are evern chewing anything, even GUM ... he knows it and wants whatever you have. 

He has become so strong willed lately, but I actually think this is a characteristic that was present in him from day one, it is part of the reason that his fiesty little self made it thru all he has been thru, with little to no problems now, but for instance, he wanted my daughter's laptop tonight and had a throw-yourself-backwards-type of fit when she wouldn't let him have it!  I missed it, but I heard about it when I got home, and I can so envision it anyway that I'm almost glad that it was Daddy who got to deal with that one and not me!  He is very demanding, he requires a lot of attention, loves to be held, and is slowly but surely learning to cuddle with us.  Cuddling is not something that he has ever done.  I attribute that to him being used to not being held once he was outside of the womb ... yes he was held in the NICU, but for 10 weeks he was on the ventilator and if I got to hold him it was for an hour at a time and not every day, depended on his strength and issues present at the time....

So I guess we move on continuing to see our pediatrician and specialists as the appointments come up and work with him every day as he continues to grow ..... and just love him.  He is the greatest blessing I think we have ever had.  No matter what he does, he brings tears to my eyes (especially when he tries to rip my lips off, lol) and a smile to my heart.  He is so loved and adored with everything that is within us .... THANK GOD for our little SPOILED miracle baby!

Thank you all for your continued prayers, and if you would like to see Kadin dancing to the tunes of my 8 year old playing Rockband, go to www.youtube.com/redlady88 and you can get a good belly laugh!  There's a little air guitar in there too, just watch....

Blessings.....

Leslie

Glad that is behind us now!

Surgery, procedure, operation, whatever you wanna call it, it is behind us now, thank GOD!  We were scheduled for hypospadias repair and circumcision on the 14th, but our surgeons couldn't get their schedules to coincide for emergencies so we rescheduled for the 15th and everything went just as planned.  Nothing like having to do pre-op and then answer all the same questions over and over to many many people! ha!  So, to make a long and boring story short, we were discharged from the hospital around 11:30am and then we went to get a motel because of the exhaustion ...... and here I am, after a nap and a meal and wide awake!

Kadin is doing well, he is sleeping right now.  He has been a little fussy, which is to be expected, but otherwise he has been everywhere on the floor and in his bed.  He has not eaten well but he is taking his bottle and other fluids so that is good ... the main idea right now is to get him to pee.  So, while he is asleep now, I should be getting myself to be also. 

I just wanted to again thank all of our family and friends for all their prayers, emails, calls, texts and their prayers and concerns for us and this 3-4 day experience!  It is greatly appreciated and we are so thankful for all the encouraging and uplifting words that kept us going when we were ssooooooo tired.  I know normally it probably isn't likely to be so tired, but I am not a morning person so having to get up at 4:45am and get to the hospital not one but TWO days in a row just flat knocked me down! lol  So THANK YOU for everything ....

I will update more after we get home.  For now, I am going to veg and do nothing !!!!!!

So it's here, and oh how I hate it ....

It is 11:37pm and we have to be at the hospital in a little over 6 hours.  That means little to no sleep for me tonight.  Kadin is still awake, as they wanted us to keep him up for about an hour longer than his regular bed-time but it is way past that already and he is still blowin and goin!  I just pray that I hear the alarm in the AM and don't sleep past time to get up and go... I have a real fear for doing that, you know - missing the important things in life because I overslept.  I sleep very lightly these days, but on occasionally I will fall into a deep sleep and NOTHING wakes me up.  Just can't do that tonight, lol....

We went to Kadin's pre-op appointment and it was quick and painless, unlike tomorrow's scheduled events.  They weighed and measured him, we talked in great detail about his past medical history, we visited with the anesthesiologist, and Kadin fell in love!  That's right ... he loves Tracey from the anesthesiology department.  She came in and he lit up, he leaned over many times trying to get to her, and when she held him, he went right for her beautiful hair and cute stylish glasses! 

I have never been as convinced as I am right now that Cook Children's Medical Center has an abundance of angels working there.  While we were there, Kadin was passed from nurse to nurse and HE LOVED IT!  Oh my, I mean he LOVED being in all those arms today.  He NEVER reacts like that to strangers, but today, the nurses were not strangers to him.  It was as if he were "home" again.  He was comfortable, he was smiling, happy, energetic, and very much in a happy place. 

We are the first on the list in the morning.  We are scheduled for 7:30am, not sure why we have to be there at 6am!  *insert frowny face emoticon here*  I know, we do what we have to do for our children but man ... I am just NOT a morning person so the fact that I am not even going to have adequate sleep is a sure sign that Starbucks will be my best friend in the morning and no one else should even attempt to speak to me until around noon.  I know ... you are thinking "Then what the heck are you doing on the internet blogging at this hour?"  Well, I logically am asking myself the same thing, but I assure you, even if I were to go lay my head on the pillow, as nervous as I am about this entire procedure, I would still not sleep a wink ... and then we go back to the fact that I fear I will not even wake up in the morning on time.  This is an extremely vicious cycle, and we have to wake Kadin in the morning and give him a breathing treatment before we get to the hospital.

We don't know how long the surgery is going to be ... the Dr. we spoke to this afternoon said anywhere between 30 minutes to 2.5 hours.  He also said he hopes we are prepared to stay as you never know how things will go with little ones who have CLD (chronic lung disease).  We are prepared ... well, ok, not really, we don't want him to have any setbacks and it would be somewhat devestating, but we can handle it.  I am unable for some strange reason to get on Facebook while we are here.  I can only access it from my phone in the mobile version so I will just have to write my blogs here on blogspot and let it automatically feed it to Facebook ... so if any of you have any questions or concerns, go ahead and post them on Facebook as I will get the notifications that you have left me something.  I will have my laptop in the hospital and will update as soon as I can.  Recovery is supposed to be a few hours if everything is looking good .....

So now that I have pushed the limits and it is almost midnight (I have always told myself if I can go to bed at least before midnight, I will get a full night's sleep! lol) I should be going.  Thank you for your prayers and concern for Kadin.  Please pray for us to have strength tomorrow as I am sure we will be exhausted.  And on top of all that ... we are missing the kids back home.

More updates tomorrow . . .

Still sick ...

Our little man is sick and I'm so worried about him. His cough seems to be worse today. I managed to get the meds down him without him throwing up. YAY MOM! But with him propped up beside me, I can clearly hear him wheezing. Going to give a breathing treatment while he is asleep so he will breathe in all the medication. He likes to play with the tubes when he is awake and lick on them and all that, lol ... so we don't know how much of the meds he actually gets. Tried the mask last night and that didn't work either. He wanted to eat it. Anyway, took him to the Dr. day before yesterday and he said if he had not been so cheerful at the visit he would be admitting him into the hospital and that we need to keep a close eye on him because he could turn worse within a matter of no time ..... He didn't drink all of his bottle this morning so I am concerned, and I have a road trip to make this evening and will be away from him for about 8 hours, give or take. I just worry ... and worry some more ... and then some more. He has surgery coming up in October and I am praying nothing hinders that. Have to go get things ready for my road trip, please pray for Kadin and I will try my best to update soon. I've gotten bad at updating, life just seems to take control and whiz on by .... Thank you for your prayers!!

The Helmet

We didn't really know what to expect when Kadin was put in this cranial helmet. I was afraid he was going to fight it, but the minute that the Orthotist put it on him, he was good to go. We started out alternating off and on every hour. That was a little challenging, since we got it and went straight to eat and then had a ride home. But anyway, it was on and hour, off an hour, for the first day. The second day, we did 2 hour rotations with an hour off ... the next day, three hours... and finally, on the 4th day, it was an all day thing...something like that. You get the idea. He wears the helmet all day now and is allowed to take it off for an hour at a time. So every night, about 8pm, we take it off and give him his bath. We clean the helmet in the time frame that he has it off. He LOVES that thing!!! When you take it off of him, he reaches for it. I guess it has become some sort of security for him ??? It might itch a little too, but he doesn't seem to complain. His head is growing, which is a wonderful thing! He gets little "knots" on his head and when these appear, the Ortotist then cuts a hole in the helmet to allow for the growth. I still don't fully understand it, but it is working, so I will not question the process. I met a couple of other mothers in the rehab center who's babies also had helmets and one little boy had the entire top part of his cut out! That is GOOD progress, they say. We will get there. There is already a great change in the shape of Kadin's head. He looks WONDERFUL with it off. Kids everywhere look at it and just love it. Some even think it's a football helmet, especially at the games! I will post a pic of the helmet, but for blogging purposes, it has firetrucks and firefighters on it ... even a Dalmation puppy!!! He is even starting to play games with it. While he is sitting in his high chair, he leans his head down til the helmet crashes on the tray part of the chair. It's funny ... We will have to ween him off of it when it's time to not have it anymore because I am afraid he will be a monster without it. He sleeps in it and everything! He is doing wonderful with it and we can see the shift in his skull too.... It is awesome!!!

Kadin is scheduled for his next surgery on October 14th at Cook Children's Medical Center. This is the hypospadius (sp) and his circumcision. It is expected to be out-patient, but he has CLD and will be intubated for this surgery, so we just have to see how things go. We will be traveling to FW the night before and should, if everything goes as planned, be returning home that afternoon at some point. The Dr. (surgeon) told us that he will be swollen and bruised for about six weeks, so I am not looking forward to diaper changes and things of that nature for that month and a half! Poor baby ... I pray he does well and gets thru it ok. He has been thru so much and we feel this is one of the last things to conquer now! I appreciate all your prayers for this upcoming time in our lives.

As far as the development stages Kadin is going thru, he is doing soooooo much these days. He is able to roll over and over and over and over. He can sit with some support, but he is not sitting on his own at this point. He is not crawling either, but he is getting up on his knees and pushing/scooting himself. He babbles all the time and laughs so heartily! We just crack up when he laughs. It is from his innermost parts that the laugh comes all the way up!!! He sleeps thru the night still and wakes up so happy.

Kadin is enjoying real foods these days too ... mashed taters, mac and cheese, but he still loves his fruits and veggies! His daddy does not like veggies at all, lol .... so I don't let him feed him, ha ha ha. If I did, it would be bananas and applesauce all the time! Bless his heart ... he is such a sweet daddy and takes care of our son ALL the time. He and I help each other so much and sometimes we argue over who is going to get the bottle or change the diapers!!! Such nice things to argue about, but that's ok ... it's the only things we argue over, thank GOD! :) I am so blessed to have Danny as my husband...

Ok, so the helmet ... we go for a check up again the first part of October. I think Kadin is doing so well that they scheduled us out further than normal and said to just call if he had issues. So far so good ... no issues to worry with to this point, so we will just wait it out and see how things are the first part of October!

I just wanted to give a quick update since I don't do it near as much as I used to. LIFE happened once we got home and hasn't slowed down since! :) I will try to do better ... thanks for still keeping up with us. Drop us a line to let us know you have been here or look us up on Facebook (my email there is redlady88@yahoo.com)

Be blessed,
Leslie

Encouraged

Sometimes life can beat you down. Sometimes you think you can't go on much further. My faith has always been my foundation for everything that I do. No, I have not been "perfect". I only know ONE who is perfect. He is my example, and I have often failed him. I don't feel worthy of good things being said about me ... so tonight, when I was reading some comments from a very sweet friend regarding what she thought about me and my family and the love we exhibit, I was humbled, and reminded that the kind of love she showed me is the kind we should show everyone. You see ... she and her husband walked the almost exact same path that Danny and I (and our children) walked for 4-5 months, and in many ways, we are still walking the same path. Our preemie babies were born within a month of each other, none of us were prepared for what awaited us, that's for sure. So tonight ... when I was reminded once again that there was someone out there that knows what we went thru, that knows what it takes to make it thru that uncertain time in life with a preemie (micro-preemie), that thinks as much of our family as we think of theirs, I was encouraged that there are still good and sweet people left in this world, who don't compliment you to get something out of you or to just blow sunshine up your backside ... they tell you these things because it's what's in their heart ... I pray special blessings for Hilarie for making my night and renewing my faith that things really will be ok in this life ....

I Believe We Can Handle Anything

We finally had our CT scan and appt with Dr. Jeter on July 28th. The scan went very quickly, it took all of about 5 minutes maybe. Kadin was very cooperative, too. I took ALL the kids, since it was only the day after Robbi returned from her summer with her dad. I think there were 7 of us on the trip that day. Very busy ... but anyway, we had the scan done and then went to visit with the cranial/facial surgeon. The wait in his office was FOREVER! It was unbelievable. I could write a very long "short" story on my wait in the waiting room and the 3 precious little children that were waiting with their mommy (bless the mommy's heart!!!!) Anyway, that Dr. said that he wanted to refer us to West TX Rehab and go ahead and see about Kadin being fitted for a cranial helmet. He put it all in perspective for me, saying that Kadin's head could continue to reshape itself, but then again, it could not ... it's a chance we would be taking by not going ahead and having him wear a helmet for a month or two. So I called and made an appt with the Rehab and we had the scan for that on August 3rd. Danny was home from work in time to go with us and to be there with any questions. If anyone has ever had to be without your spouse for any length of time so they can work, you know how much better it is when you have 2 parents taking care of the child instead of just one! I was and am so grateful that he was able to make it home to go to this with us. So, in short ... it should be about another week and we will have a helmet for Kadin. We don't know how long he will have to wear it, we will go back every week I think and have it tightened and re-fitted according to his growth. I am apprehensive because I don't want him to hate it, but the Dr. at the Rehab did tell us that the problems usually lie with the parents and the grandparents, and to take comfort in knowing that the children adapt fairly quickly to their change! He will be wearing it 23 hours out of the day and having it off only one hour for me to wash his head and clean the helmet. Summer is not going to be his friend, I'm thinking .... Guess we will see! We are excited to see the helmet though, it is supposed to be firetrucks! :)

After our visit was complete there, we decided to go to my OB clinic and see if, by chance, my OB Dr. was in her office. I had kept in touch with her some during the course of our stay in FW, but had not contacted her much since we returned home. Life just kinda got very busy ... It is safe to say that I absolutely adore my OB doc ... she is/was amazing to me in my desperate time of need. Frankly, she was amazing to me the entire time that I was in her care. I was sick quite a bit with Kadin, and she did everything she could to make sure that I was comfortable, healed, and progressing like I needed to be. Honestly, I could go on and on and on for days about her and what she means to me and my family. She saved not only my life, but the life of our child when she shipped us to FW on October 28, 2008. I remember vividly her sitting on the edge of my bed in labor and delivery, teary-eyed at what was unfolding before her eyes, and believing for the best for me, our baby, and our family. Anyway ... we made it to her office and asked the receptionist if she was in and if she had a minute to visit. I wish I had a camera the minute that we walked around the corner. Her eyes lit up, her draw hit the floor, she was very surprised, but quickly took Kadin from Danny's arms and marveled at God's miracle!!! The few minutes that we spent catching up on what we went thru will forever remain precious to us ... you just don't find Dr.'s like her any more. Even all of her staff remember us and shared in the joy of having such a precious baby boy. She still has Kadin's picture up on her baby board, the pic of him when he was just about 7 days old. It is hard to look at now sometimes. It is amazing how your body adapts to such trying circumstances just so you can make it thru them! That's truly what happened in our situation. I could never see Kadin as the frail, threatened, very critically ill baby that he was ..... I'm not really quite sure why I didn't, but I didn't see it until much later, when the odds had turned in his favor. So anyway, we were glad that we stopped by the OB's office and had that mini-reunion with her and her staff. She is such a blessing, and anyone that works for her is blessed.

I got a call the other day that I am a little concerned about but only maybe because I don't quite understand it all, but our Pediatrician said that he was going to refer us to a neurologist in FW to have Kadin checked out thoroughly. He said that his CT scan did not come back completely "normal" and that it indicated that he had some enlarged ventricles, which could be perfectly "normal" in a micro-preemie such as Kadin, or it could be a cause for concern. Either way, we are not able to get in to the Dr. in FW until around December probably. I have done a little research trying to understand what can happen with enlarged ventricles, and I just get frustrated. I know I shouldn't do that if the Dr. is saying that right now there is really no reason for concern, just something that need to monitor for now, but it is still one of those things where I would like to know what is going on and I just don't. All I heard him say was "shunt" waa waa waa waa and a few other words that I can't even bring myself to type and I refuse to accept. Kadin's progress and development is amazing, and it's all because of GOD, and I know he is going to be just fine ... I will still do the smart thing and have him checked out but I will not get down about any of it, especially because of how we see him interact and behave with us. There is nothing abnormal about the way that he interacts with us or behaves. He is truly a miracle and I will not give a foothold to anything that will tear that apart!!! Don't get me wrong, I adore our Pediatrician, and I respect his professionalism and his expertise, and that is why I will go along with his referral to FW to have things monitored. I just won't accept that this is anything except routine for what micro-preemies go thru ... especially because Kadin had six brain scans while he was still in the NICU and they all came back NEGATIVE for brain bleeds, which we understood was also to be a miracle in itself !!! YAY GOD !!!

He had his 9 month check up today and it was fantastic! He is now weighing 14 pounds 8 ounces, he is 25.5 inches long and is doing very well!!!!! We are also looking at scheduling an appt with his pediatric surgeon to have the one last surgery that he needs to be finished with all that. We also scheduled is one year check up while we were there and it is so hard to believe that in just 3 short months, Kadin will be one year old. We will celebrate November 3 ... February 23 ... and February 28th! You think I'm kidding ... I'm not, but at the friendly advice of my OB Doc, no, we will not make a brat out of the miracle baby !!!! ha ha ha ha

Thanks for sharing in our latest journey with Kadin. I know I have probably left out a bunch in this update, but it is late and I'm tired ... if I remember anything else I will add it. Going to bed now, long day tomorrow also. We will be retrieving our car from my husband's "job" since it's been sitting there for almost a month now !!!

G'night...
Leslie

What? An update finally?

Yes I know. I am horrible at updating anymore, but that is really a good sign if you think about it. Life is in full swing around the Kirkpatrick household and we couldn't be happier! I actually can't believe it has been 2 months tomorrow since I have updated anything. That's so hard to imagine it has been that long and it only seems like yesterday since I wrote the latest entry.

We did have another appt in FW in June. We went to see the eye Dr. and everything there checked out just fine. They said Kadin was a bit far-sighted, but that it was normal for a baby his age. Dr. Norman also said that he couldn't tell anything had been a problem with Kadin and that he truly is a miracle child! Yeah, just what I wanna hear !!!!! Every time we go to the Dr. we realize more and more just how blessed we are and have been with Kadin's progress in his life. We encounter so many families that have seen sooooo much with their children already. Don't get me wrong ... we have seen a lot of turmoil and troubles with Kadin, but it seems like it is nothing compared to what we learn about the struggle of other family's with their babies. We are extremely blessed!!!

Kadin is doing so well. He is still in occupational therapy but even the therapists say that he is more like a 7 month old (he is 8 months old) than the adjusted 4 months that he "should be" for being so early. He is pushing 14 pounds right now so he is healthy at that ... He loves his bottle and is reaching for it now, will hold it for just a few seconds but more like is just touching it while he feeds. He loves apples and cereal, bananas and cereal, and just like his daddy, is NOT much on the veggies! He is not sitting up unassisted or anything like that, but we are working on it and frankly, as long as he is taking it at his own pace, I'm not worried about it ... he is still progressing every day.

Kadin is also very much a happy baby. He isn't smiling at us because we smile at him, he is smiling because he is happy. He laughs and giggles, babbles all the time ... he LOVES his voice. He loves to make noise. For awhile I was concerned that he wasn't crying when he was hungry, or crying for any reason, but that has all changed, lol ... HE CRIES! I think it was just a matter of discovery in that area, but he's doing just fine at letting me know his needs and his disapprovals!

Finally ... he is rolling over and getting on his stomach, holding his head up, and looking all around. When he first started being on his stomach (of course) he could not hold his head up, we were working with certain neck and back muscles to strengthen him because he favored one side a LOT. It has misshapen his head too and it was feared he would have to have a special helmet to reshape it. Our appt for that CT scan and visit to the specialist is scheduled for July 28th, but the therapist that just came to the house said that according to her experiences, Kadin's head is not meeting the requirements to be fitted with a helmet. I have noticed that in the past month, his head has continued to take on a new shape (a normal one!) the more that he is not laying on his back and turning his head to that favored side. He now likes to lay on his side and flip flop around in the bed when he sleeps, so his head is getting fair coverage on all sides !!! YAY! Guess we will see .....

I'm concerned about the way that he vomits sometimes during a feed. It's as if he gets choked and out it comes. Even in Wal Mart ... all over himself and all over me. It's ok ... he's not in the hospital hooked up to tubes and machines, so momma can handle ANYTHING that he has going on! I just want to make sure there isn't anything going on with his little tummy that causes him to give his feeds back ...

It is so hard for me to believe that Kadin is almost 9 months old. It just seems like yesterday we came home with him, at 4 months old (newborn size!). Life has been so full and busy around here that the time really has passed rather quickly. For awhile, my mind had been preoccupied with several other things and I feel like I was just going thru the motions of some aspects of life, but with my children, I soaked in every moment I could, and still do. I am so proud of the progess that Kadin has made and how my older children have been so instrumental in his development. They carry him around, particularly the 7 year old, my daughter doesn't let him cry, so anytime he is a little fussy (even when I have put him down) she is right there picking him up to soothe him ... and my oldest son, who hasn't really spent much time with Kadin except the last few weeks, has been very helpful without me even asking for his assistance ... he will take Kadin to the couch to "watch tv with his big bubba" and has even fed him a bottle or two. Awesome awesome children I have ... I am so very blessed. Now if we could only get my husband a local job so that he could be here also ... family is just not complete without Daddy!

I just wanted to update for a few minutes since it has been so long since I have done so. I am going to add a couple of pictures on the site, so I hope you enjoy them. If you are on myspace or facebook and reading this, the pics are actually on my blogger acct so you may have to browse to that site to see them ... it is http://kadinsjourney.blogspot.com in case you don't have it.

I will try to blog more often and add more pictures ... Blessings to all ...

Leslie

Kadin's Visit to FW (written 05/27/09)

We are on our way home right now. Kadin's appt with his lung doctor went well. She gave us a schedule awhile back to start weening him off the oxygen and we started that when they gave it to us. Shortly after we started, Kadin got sick. He was sick for a couple of weeks so we had to keep the oxygen on him during that time. We started all over on the weening after that. They had given us a target sat that they wanted Kadin to stay above and he always stays above it unless he has the monitor on and is kicking his feet. (since the probe goes on his foot) Today his pulmonologist told us she is writing an order to have the oxygen company come pick up their equipment since he is doing so well. This doesn't mean that he doesn't need to be watched. We will still need to keep a close eye on him all the time. She also said if he needs steroids between now and his next visit with her in August then we will have to look at getting inhalant steroids to keep. Not sure why, but im not worried about it either, mainly because the only time he needed them he caught a cold from one of the kids ... and since they wont be in school, chances are minimal that they will be sick this summer. So, YAY! We will see how it goes.

Before our appt this afternoon, we went to Harris Methodist to the NICU to see if we could see any of our little angels working there ... they announced we were there and within just a minute one of our favorite RT's came running out! It was awesome to see her again and all the nurses that we saw too. We also saw an off duty secretary that we absolutely ADORED and our favorite tech, too!!! The only sad part about our trip was we had planned originally to go ahead and go to Danny's daughter's graduation (KAYLIE) in Texarkana but that was made impossible since our bank acct got seized ... thank GOD for health insurance for Kadin since they pay mileage for us to go back and forth to his appointments or we wouldnt have been able to go to FW either!

Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes for Kadin and his progress ... I still can't grasp sometimes just what a little miracle he really is.

Kadin Rolls Over

Seriously? Already? Yes, he did it today and we were all amazed !!!

We had him laying on the office room floor, on a huge quilt. He was kinda fussin', nothing was really pacifying him, and then we realized it seemed as if he was just babbling.

My husband laid in the floor with him and was talking to him. We had noticed for a week or so that he was "throwing" himself, sorta kinda kicking his feet, arching his back, and pushing off to one side. He started doing that while laying on the quilt and then my husband said "He just rolled over!!!" I was in disbelief ... I am so proud!

Danny rolled Kadin back over onto his back to see if he would do it again, and YEP! He did ... this time he left him on his tummy (he was in a position that the occupational therapists have recommended we attempt to get and keep him in) so we just left him there for a few minutes until he kicked his feet enough that he rolled himself back over to his tummy.

Amazing! I am just so proud of Kadin!!! Wish I had video, since youtube is now one of my favorite sites!!

General update on Kadin

I know, it's been a LONG time since I have updated on our little miracle ... my bad, but we have been so busy living life here it is unbelievable!

First of all, let me say what a blessing this baby is. He is the most precious thing ever and I don't say that just because I am his mommy, I say that because of what a gift he is to all of us. I watch his interactions with his daddy and I melt. I watch him look at his big sister and brother and I melt. I see him recognize his Nanny and my sister, Ti, and my eyes water .... you know what I mean?

He wasn't supposed to make it. He wasn't supposed to be here. He fought tooth and nail from the minute he was born to make it to where he is today and I am so thankful to God for being able to have him. He is with me almost 24/7 and my thoughts are constantly toward him in what he might need, or is he breathing, or is his head turned the right way, etc .... When he's sleeping I check on him all the time. What mother doesn't worry about their child? I just had some extra worries to go along with this baby.

Our pulmonologist suggested we start trying to wean him off the oxygen. About the time we started, he got sick. The dr. thinks it was a little cold. He was wheezing and had rattles in his chest ... really scared me! But I gave him his meds, antibiotics, steroids, and breathing treatments, and today he is all good!

I don't know what he weighs exactly, but at the Dr.'s office on April 29 he weighed 11 pounds and 4 ounces. I am sure he has gained since then. He is outgrowing all the clothes we have for him! He is just amazing! Have I said that already ??? :)

I am giving him rice cereal now. He doesn't quite seem to like it and is learning how to move it to the back of his mouth to swallow and sometimes he flat refuses to eat it, but that's ok .... I talked to his pediatrician and expressed my concerns for him drinking half a bottle and pushing it away, but still grunting and groaning like he was hungry, not to mention trying to eat his fists. (which I think is a darling instinct that almost all babies exhibit when they are hungry!) I was worried because I would feel like he should be hungry but he would not ever cry. He doesn't cry very often, but when he does, he means it. So, the Dr.'s office told me to try the cereal to see if keeping his tummy heavy for a little longer helped, and wow ... He is SLEEPING for a good 3 hours during naps when before we started cereal he would just nap for about half an hour and be back up acting hungry again! *sigh, I was exhausted!*

Kadin is sleeping thru the night and has for about the last month. He usually turns in around 10:30 after his last bottle, and he is very good about sleeping until about 7:30 every morning! It's like clockwork, you can count on him being awake then! We are putting the oxygen on him only at night and his pulse-ox monitor too because most of the time he will work the cannula around to give his ear some oxygen too. If he sats good thru the night, we never even know anything, but occassionally it seems he gets into a deep sleep and breaths are shallow and then his monitor will go off ... or then again, we have the times he wakes up a little earlier and kicks his feet wildly and his monitor goes off WITH EVERY MOVE, ha ha ha ha ha.

I have a video I wanted to post but it has me making a fool of myself in it to make Kadin laugh. It's hilarious. Maybe I will upload it to youtube and let you all see it. he is so cute in it ... smiling and laughing. He does a lot of that lately ... just brings tears to my eyes !!!!

We have an appointment in FW one week from today, on the 27th. We were going to go to that and then travel on to Texarkana for Danny's daughter's graduation, but since our bank account got wiped out, the extra travel will not be possible ... which sucks really really bad. She wanted us there and we wanted to be there, but it isn't going to happen. And I hate it. Anyway, we MUST go to his appointment and his insurance helps us with the travel and the motel room, otherwise, that would be a big problem also. I will update on him after that appointment and try to post some more current pictures as well !!

That Blasted Cannula!

Yeah, I'm put out with it, lol. We can't get it to stay on unless we put tons of tape on the poor baby. It stinks. I mean, he's adorable, and with all that tape on him, well, his cuteness is being hidden!

The other morning, I woke up because he was wiggling around. I figured it was time to feed him. When I looked at him, he wasn't quite awake yet, as he usually is. So I watched him for a few minutes and figured I would go ahead and get him up. Maybe he was uncomfortable, maybe he needed a diaper change ... and when I got a better look at him, that blasted cannula was in his ear! Oh yeah, his ear was getting plenty of oxygen ... No telling how long it had been like that, but he was hooked up to the pulse ox and it never went off. I watched him for about 20 minutes with the cannula around his ear and he was satting in the high 90's and even at 100. Okay ... well, Dr. Schultz did say that if it came off, just give it a little bit and see how he does ...

So, with him doing so well with it in his ear, we decided to not worry about it fitting right in his nose all day long. It came out several times and finally my husband decided to just take it off and see how he does. We left the pulse ox on and watched him all day and he did wonderful. Now ... he has been on the oxygen ever since because we aren't sure exactly what it was Dr. Schultz wanted us to do as far as weening him. She did say when we were in her office that, at the time of March 23, she would give it another couple of weeks before we tried him off the oxygen. So ... the miracle of it all is ... he went 12 hours Sunday without his oxygen. He never changed colors, he never seemed to labor in his breathing. He seemed, overall, much happier just to have that thing off his face! But like I said ... he's had it on ever since Sunday evening because we aren't sure what we are really supposed to do.

So, we're just waiting. I pray he is ready. He seems to be doing ssooo well. He is growing like a bad weed. He gets chunkier every single day! And more alert, and he stays awake for much longer periods of time. And LAST NIGHT ... He slept from 11PM to 7AM and WOWEEE! I enjoyed sleeping from about 1 to 7 .... very nice!

I have some pictures of him from Easter that I will add when I get them off the camera. It's just a matter of doing it. I'm taking a break from working right now because I work remotely and needed someone to remap the drive for me ... since it's done now, I will go finish what I was doing and then cook some lunch for my husband!

Oh ... I almost forgot, we have selections for his baby shower at Wal-Mart and Target. You can look them up online or go to the store. I think you need to know my first and last name in order to look them up online, but it's a neat set up if you can't get to a store! If you have trouble or questions, give me a shout and I'll try to help ... Thanks! Looking forward to seeing you all on May 3rd at Kadin's Shower !!! YAY !!!

Leslie

A Baby Shower Honoring KADIN!

Yes, I am so excited ... I was notified the other day that there will be a baby shower for Kadin on May 3 at 2PM. There are something like 12 hostessess - I am so honored!!!! I can't wait ... It will be so much fun! I am going this weekend to make selections at Wal-Mart and Target, so that should be a lot of fun.

There is an open invitation for anyone that wants to come - I believe it is going to be in our local newspaper. I am just excited about seeing everyone that I haven't seen in a long time. Since we have been home, I have spent the majority of my time in the house with the baby and have only gotten out for ball practices or games and occassionally to go to the store, but nothing else. It will be nice to visit with everyone!

Just wanted to put this here for my friends and family that read that I have not gotten to tell just yet.... Hope to see you all there !!!

This baby is .... SPOILED!

He definitely has come into his likes and dislikes! He knows that anyone in our family is more than ready to pick him up and hold him at a moment's cry ... yes, no kidding, this child is held and passed around more than he probably should be, but we just can't help it and probably won't stop! I'm not complaining at all. I am learning to work on my computer with him in my lap, feed him while I answer a text message, but I do lay him down for making bottles or cooking a meal! I draw the line at putting him in one of those little front-side baby holders ... although I did try it, I realized quickly it just wasn't going to work. So I threw that thing in a box.

Kadin is staying awake for longer periods of time and is now taking in more formula than he was just 2 days ago. He slept for a full six hours last night and he is (adjusted) just six weeks old. I hope by the end of his 2 months, he will be sleeping like that regularly. It will be nice, but then again, I kinda liked getting up at 3am and realizing I could sleep for another 4 hours as soon as I fed him and put him back down!

Kadin is smiling a lot more too, except the last couple of days he hasn't really. He's just been clingy to me, wanting to be held, crying if I even put him down to make him a bottle, except right now, he is laying in this playpen beside me and relaxing - not sleeping, just chilling.

This cannula is about to drive me MAD. It will NOT stay in his nose. It slips thru the tape or the little circles and ends up trying to give his eyeball or his ear some not-so-much-needed oxygen! He turns his head so much when he's laying down or in the swing that it just moves it and I don't know how to keep it still. When I am holding him, he likes to rub his face or his nose in my shoulder or my shirt and that moves it too ... it's like his nose itches and he is scratching it with my shirt. It's probably that cannual getting on his nerves ... poor baby, I can't wait til it is not needed anymore.

Guess I'm gonna go see if Kadin wants to visit his bed ... mine is calling my name, maybe I can fake him out!!!

Night!!!

Six Weeks Old

That calculation seems a little strange since we have been with Kadin since November 3, 2008. However, for 16 weeks of his life, he rightfully should have still been in my tummy. It's hard to believe that all this began 22 weeks ago. We have to adjust for his age beginning around his due date, which makes him now about six weeks old. And wow, how quickly he is growing!

He is beginning to stay awake for longer periods of time now and "babble" a little bit. He gets the biggest, silliest, most tickled smiles on his face when he has his big sissy and big bubba talking to him. And you know THAT makes them feel on cloud nine every single time! It blesses me and Danny also to see Kadin react to his siblings that way. When someone talks to him, he gets all wiggly and opens his mouth as if he wants to say something - you can tell he is excited that someone is paying him attention .... as if mommy holding him throughout the day and night isn't enough, lol .... he's an attention hog, for sure, but frankly, we don't mind a bit.

We have developed quite a pattern and thankfully!!! We lay him down for the night around 11 after his bottle and he awakes again around 3 for another feeding and back down til approximately 7. Sometimes we get off schedule by half an hour or whatever, but who cares when I am getting about six or seven hours of sleep a night, even if there is an intermission ... I enjoy holding him in the middle of the night anyway.

He is traveling better these days also. Granted, we aren't going anywhere long distance, but he seems to really like getting out if even for a little bit. We did take him to a baseball game last week and he slept the entire time! I am a firm believer in introducing the "sounds" of it all tho ... that way, he will recognize it all later and not freak out (like Dakota used to do at basketball games when that big nasty mean buZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZer would go off).

We have appointments in May and June as it stands. At that time, we will visit the NICU again for the first time since we departed for home on Feb. 28, 2009. I pray we get to see all those that we came to love so dearly...

Speaking of those that we love ... I can't get Dr. Porter and Dr. McGuirk off my mind. I wish there had been some way to get their information (email) so that we could keep in touch. I know they were so proud of Kadin before they both ceased to being his primary Dr. Kadin really took off in his progress right as Dr. Porter left the unit. I left him this URL so that he could visit if he never thought about it and I pray that he does ... so if you are reading this Dr. Porter, know that my family is eternally grateful to you for all that you did for our miracle child and I know you would be so proud to see him today. And Dr. McGuirk ... we appreciate your willingness to push Kadin a little bit and challenge him in his growth! We miss you all, the nurses, the secretaries, the respiratory therapists, the techs ... EVERYONE. We even miss that cafeteria, lol ...... oh, and Starbucks. Sheesh.

It is great to be home though and watch our little baby growing. He has dealth with some allergy issues, but we all have. The climate here is HORRIBLE and for example, today I have done nothing but sneeze and blow my nose! I am excitedly awaiting what's next in Kadin's growth ...

ECI has come to the house twice and is scheduled to come again around the middle of the month. It will be for occupational therapy and I'm excited about that. Kadin's little head seems to be misshapen a little bit because he truly favors one side and hates to lay on the other side ... we work on it but you know, he's stubborn - which has gotten him this far in the first place, so I'm not gonna gripe!

Until next time ......

Allergy Issues Already

We have been home approximately 4 weeks and we are now already experiencing allergy issues with Kadin. I called his Dr. and am giving him benedryl now every 4 hours to treat the symptoms, but have to watch him for signs of infection, i.e. tugging of ears, crankiness, not eating or wet diapers, etc ...

I laughed on the phone with the nurse earlier because she had told me to give him children's benedryl and I said ok, I have some. When I checked the bottle, it said DO NOT GIVE for children under 2. Above that, in the children 2-4 it instructed to consult a physician for dispensing. Alright, so in my mind I needed a different medication for him. The nurse assured me that he could have it cuz the Dr. said so ... and that's where I laughed ... I'm 39 years old with my 4th child and STILL asking! lol I justified it by saying I didn't wanna poison him! And it's true ... but mostly because I am scared to death still with a preemie who's adjusted age is only 5 weeks.

I suctioned him out all night and got virtually NO SLEEP. Not good for me but even worse for Kadin since he didn't sleep much. At 8 this morning, I put him next to me in the bed and he slept solid for 2.5 hours ... until he woke up because he couldn't breathe. He is now sitting semi-upright in his swing to help with the drainage. And me ... with my 7 year old home early today (release at noon for track meet that our daughter is in!) wanting to help him color and play video games and this and that, I'm running low on energy! :) Not to even mention trying to work for my dad in between all of that and pay my own bills that have to be taken care of today ....

On a brighter note, my husband came home today telling me that he had a message for me. He said his niece had contacted him and told him that I needed to pick a date in April (other than one weekend she designated) for a baby shower she is putting together. She said to tell me that my "favorite niece" was getting the ball rolling, lol .... and I needed to make her a list of my friends that wanted to help with it. So, I'm really excited about that .... And Kadin will be bigger and able to handle being at the big par-tay !!!

Guess I better get more things done around here ... Robbi is running after 5 today and Kota has TWO ball games tonight - back to back - and I have to get everything ready for all of that as well. I have TONS of pictures of the ball games that we played the other day at the season opener, so I'll be posting those also when I can!

Have a great day!

Our 10 pound 2 ounce baby!

He just keeps getting bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger...

We traveled to FW on Sunday so that we could be there for his appointments on Monday. It was FULL day with having 3 appointments to make it attend. We barely had enough time to grab lunch.

The first appointment was with the eye specialist, Dr. Norman. Great guy, by the way. He always welcomes us with a handshake and a "Great to see you" ... They prepared Kadin's eyes before he came in with some eye drops to dilate the eyes, so when Dr. Norman came in, I exited. I saw a little bit of the eye exam while Kadin was still in the hospital and I really don't care to watch those. I could hear him screaming down the hallway but when it was over I went in and held him. Dr. Norman was very optimistic in his assessment of Kadin's eyes and how they have progressed. He had the laser surgery in the left eye and he said it has totally regressed in the "wrong" way that it was growing and is not growing properly and that his right eye is completely matured. His exact words were he expected him to have no vision problems ... perfect vision - unless he gets the genes we all got that have required corrective lenses in grade school. Other than that ... no problems! YAY!

The second stop we made was to the pulmonologist, Dr. Schultz ... She is also great. The nurse asked us most of the questions about how his oxygen is etc. and how often he is desatting ... long story short, we went for an xray since he hasn't had one after being released from the hospital. Dr. Schultz said that you would never know he was a 24-weeker, his lungs look perfect and are growing well! YAY AGAIN! She said we could take off the monitors, but if we are asleep or he is napping in another room we need to have at least one of the monitors on him. We have opted to leave the pulse oximeter on him instead of that big old bulky band around his chest. He seems to really like that thing being gone! He is doing well with the oxygen and will require it for a little while longer ...

As far as visiting the pediatric surgeon, everything went well there. He checked his hernia sites and they look wonderful. He will need to be circumsized in about 4 months or so and we will return to him for that and another small minor surgery in the area. It all looks wonderful tho, he said, and we're on the right road!

We made it home around 2AM. It was a long drive. It is hard to travel with Kadin when he needs to stop every little while and be taken out of the carseat to stretch, rest, be changed or fed ... whatever. So our trip took us longer than it normally would and we are exhausted today, but doing well.

When we were in the motel room in FW Sunday night, I made Kadin a bottle and put him in the feeding position so I could feed him. He was looking right at me ... made my tummy flip flop, ya know? But the sweet thing is I put the bottle in front of his face and he looked at it, and then I said "What is that Kadin?" and he GRINNED really really big !!!!! We repeated this a few times and every time he grinned really big. It was so sweet .... I tried it again today with my sister here and yep, he smiled REALLY big for me ... he knows that it's grocery time, lol. And he took it ALL!

So we are most pleased with his progress at this point. Kadin is technically almost 5 months old, but his adjusted age is about 4 weeks. He is a newborn really and developmentally, that is how we have to look at it. It's not difficult, and actually, if we tried to make him 5 months old we would only be frustrated. So to us, his adjusted age is all that matters ... they say by the time children hit 2 years of age, they are "caught up" so to speak with their peers. Guess we will see.

We are all loving having this baby here with us. He makes our worlds go around. The kids are fantastic with him. They all call him their PRINCE. (may have mentioned that before) Robbi will just pick him up without even asking. She loves to take care of him and love on him. She is very helpful and at times, I take the opportunity to let her know that "this is what kissing gets you!" ha ha ha ha And when it's YOURS ... it's serious time. She realizes what I mean and says "EEWWWW!" Thank goodness ....

Kota is so in love with his baby brother. He just beams when he is with him. He loves to hold him and feed him. He hasn't asked to help change him yet, lol ... but everything else he is more than happy to help with, even playing with the toys, etc. Kadin is the first one Kota wants to see in the morning and the last one at night ... He is already the best big bubba.

And then there's JT ... He came to visit us this past week but had to stay away from Kadin for the most part because he had strep throat. Of course, we didn't know he had that when he came, we just knew he wasn't feeling very well and he rested a lot while he was here, but then he got to feeling really horrible so we got him to the Dr. and got some tests done and BAM! Strep throat ... Bless his heart, he was so worried that he was going to give it to Kadin, but I called the pediatrician and they said it is very uncommon for babies to get it because you basically have to swap spit or some bodily fluid to get it and he had never even gotten close enough to Kadin's face to do so. He is also the best big bubba ... I think Kota learned from him because he is wonderful with Kota. JT wanted to badly to hold Kadin so I did put him in his arms for about 20 seconds but JT refused to breathe the whole time so I then took him back, lol .... He apologized so many times for not feeling well the entire time he was here, but it didn't make a difference to me, I want my children with me at all times, not just the good times. We so enjoyed him being here with us.

So I guess that's it until I can make time to blog again. As you may have realized, times for blogging are coming fewer and further in between! I pray you are all well and enjoying our new Spring that is upon us!

So Worth Reading!

I found this on Kristen's site and she found it on another lady's site ... for those of you who don't know Kirsten, she is AMAZING! She and her husband Joshua have a special needs son, Layne, who is just PRECIOUS! I just could never say enough about them and what wonderful parents they are. Anyway, here's the entry she had, and even tho it is unknown at this time whether or not Kadin will have any special needs, it still touched my heart ..... I pray it touches yours.


Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day.I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores.I've become an expert at identifying you.You are well worn.You are stronger than you ever wanted to be.Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul.You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world.You are my "sisters."Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority.A very elite sorority.We are special.Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members.Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years.Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail.We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms and during ultrasounds.We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films and heart surgeries.All of us have one thing in common.One day things were fine.We were pregnant or we had just given birth or we were nursing our newborn or we were playing with our toddler.Yes, one minute everything was fine.Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed.Something wasn't quite right.Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs.We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs.Some of our children undergo chemotherapy.Some need respirators and ventilators.Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk.Some eat through feeding tubes.Some live in a different world.We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children's needs are not as "special" as our child's.We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes.We are knowledgeable.We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find.We know "the" specialists in the field.We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the" treatments.We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them.Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and psychiatry.We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive and to flourish.We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy.We have labored to prove to insurance companies the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects.We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it.We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line.We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers.We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections.We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority and don't even want to try.We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother."We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours.We have coped with holidays.We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors' front doors on Halloween and we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, "trick or treat."We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas.We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing Yule log with our words for our blind children.We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving.We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter.And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family.We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it.We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy.We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent.And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip.But we, sisters, we keep the faith always.We never stop believing.Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds.We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs.We visualize them running sprints and marathons.We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees.We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols.We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall.We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes.We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars.By Maureen K. Higgins

Home for a little over 2 weeks

I have not had much time to blog with us being home. Things are so busy lately. Good thing tho, this past week was Spring Break and we kinda had some leisure time - didn't have to get up early in the morning and take the kids to school, we fed Kadin when he wanted and slept when he did. It has been great, however, tomorrow begins a new school week for the kids and we must be on a more regular schedule starting ... uumm, tonight!

Kadin has been doing VERY VERY WELL since we have been home. He has not had any episodes of not breathing or anything of the kind. We have monitored him very closely and until today, we kept both the apnea monitor and the pulse oximeter on him. Any time he would move his feet his pulse ox would set the alarm off - this gets very annoying in the middle of the night. His pediatrician in Angelo did tell us that we did not have to have the pulse ox on him during the day when we are awake, it would be better to have it on him at night when we are asleep. So ok, today we were finally comfortable enough with how he has been doing to take that off of his foot and just rely on how he looks and sounds. So far, he has loved it ... we noticed that when he would be laying on a blanket kicking and playing around, he would not move the foot that had the pulse ox probe on it. He would kick the other one, but it was like his foot was chained down with that probe on it. Now, he has a kick-fest and it's great to see him so active.

He has appointments in FW on the 23rd. We are not looking forward to the travel, but will be excited to hear what the Dr.'s will have to say.

I am sure he still needs the oxygen ... when he throws it up 'tween his eyeballs, he desats regularly. I am not sure how much desatting is "ok" or what the rules are for that, but it seems at other times he does ok for a few minutes. I don't condone chance taking where that is concerned. If the Dr. thinks he can be weened, I'm all for it. She knows better than we do, of course.

We have had lots of visitors. Not many have touched him or gotten very close, but we have had some "lookers", if you will. Kadin is taking what seems like a lot of milk during the day, too. I am starting to wonder if he needs maybe something more, like maybe cereal?? I know his pediatrician mentioned it the other day but I thought he said in a couple of months we can start him on that. He is taking 100 ml of milk regularly and last night he took a bottle at 11 then at 1 wanted another one and FINISHED IT. But then he also slept from 2 til 8 this morning! YAY for mommy and daddy ... just about a full night's sleep!

I am really enjoying the luxuries of cooking and cleaning at my own pace, not having to get dressed and run to the hospital (though I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!) - the words of a wise nurse ring thru my ears when I start revelling in being at home ... she said that once a baby is released from the hospital, he goes home and really starts to flourish. He is held by mom and dad, he is in the family's element, his needs are met by the ones who love him most, etc ... and they really start to grow and develop quickly! After being home for 2 weeks now, I can see exactly what she was talking about. When Kadin cries, at first we let him cry for a second to see if he will soothe himself back to sleep or whatever ... if not, we pick him up and see if he just wants to be held ... sometimes this is the case! Then of course, we eliminate everything else like changing diapers and feedings. It's pretty awesome how we can communicate with him ... just like it's supposed to be.

The hard days of the NICU are fading swiftly. No mistake here though ... those days were hard and tough, touch and go, uncertain yet full of joy - and they will never completely be forgotten. I am thankful for those days because they changed my life forever. The life we are living right now is what we were waiting for the whole time and I am eternally grateful to our God who has allowed us to have what we have ... I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

It's almost been a week

We have been home almost a week. Things have been going really good. It took a few days of being tangled up in monitor wires and having to get accustomed to not being very mobile in the house to really get comfortable. I wouldn't say we are COMFORTABLE as in not cautious - we are very cautious about everything we do and everything Kadin does. It's just gotten a little easier for us after almost a week...

We have 3 "stations" set up for him in the house. One is in our bedroom where he has his baby bed (Thanks to Dane and Codi Canning, they sent us home with it when we went to Oklahoma for my 20th HS reunion!) - the 2nd station is in the family room where the kids play video games, it's just between the living room and the dining room/kitchen so it's a great central location for me to sit and feed him and be able to talk to anyone who isn't in a bedroom - and the 3rd location, we set up the pak n' play in the office since probably beginning this next week I will be working in the office! The concentrator is located centrally in the house (the laundry room) and the tubing goes anywhere in the house ... we just have to move the monitors when we go and that is no trouble now.

Kadin had his first pediatric appointment and the Dr. said he looks WONDERFUL. He is growing just like he is supposed to. It's strange to think about, but even tho he was born on November 3, being in the NICU is like an artifical womb ... he really doesn't start on the right path until he is term, or around his due date, so really, it's like we have a week old baby right now. He is 4 months old, but of course he wasn't supposed to be here and we had to finish growing him! It makes perfect sense and I don't think of him as 4 months old because he is so small like a newborn (tho he weighs 8 pounds and 8 ounces!) So we look forward to all the developments he will accomplish soon...

Early Childhood Intervention is coming to the house in a couple of weeks. They will get people to come out to the house to monitor his development - occupational and physical therapists and maybe even later speech therapists. I am familiar with these types of programs from when I owned and operated my daycare in Breckenridge ... several of the children I kept had a need for these types of services and I loved watching the children and their therapists. I learned how to help them individually do a lot of things also ... very interesting.

The Dr. told us now to just feed Kadin when he is hungry, give him as much as he will take - he will know when he has had enough and he will probably sleep better and longer with a full tummy. It has worked. I even thought "He is sleeping too long" but when he woke up he was ready to eat and then stayed awake for quite awhile just playing and interacting with us.

The kids have been so wonderful with him. Robbi calls him her "Little Prince" and Kota loves helping with everything we do with the baby. He helps feed, change diapers, change clothes, turn off beeping monitors, make bottles, YOU NAME IT ... that little man is RIGHT THERE helping! He even brushed Kadin's hair tonight while I fed him and when my hand would get tired, Kota would have a turn holding the bottle while I brushed. Tonight is bath night so Kota is also eager for that moment....

We were able to get some much smaller oxygen tanks from Oxycare in San Angelo. That will help greatly with any traveling we do ... especially the running the kids to school real quick in the mornings. Lugging that big ole tank around to go 1.5 blocks ... I was kinda not wanting to do that!

So, that's my update for now ... I hope you all are healthy and happy and full of blessings. I have to go feed the baby and try to get some sleep. I have had a headache for several days from a lack of sleep .. that's just what happens to me - ugh! Have a great weekend . . . .

Love,
Leslie

So Much To Say ...

I am making this quick because I just don't have much time...

We made it home with Kadin on February 28th at approximately 9:30PM. It was surreal for us ... everything seemed to move slowly and I wondered is this really happening? Living with a monitor and oxygen is proving to be a little difficult, but it isn't something that can't be mastered and overcome within about the next week or so. The most difficult part of it all is trying to get a working system down so that we are all comfortable with everything.

We set Kadin up a little area with a pack-n-play (Thanks so much Terri and Michael!) with his concentrator and his monitors nearby. There is a LOT of cable with everything so dealing with those hanging everywhere is not foreign to us, but it's just annoying! I want to be able to pick him up and walk where ever I want to in the house, but it just isn't going to happen right now. We have explained the monitors to the kids and the importance of the oxygen also. They are aware when the monitors alarm we look to see what is happening. The kids have been just AWESOME! They know when or if the canula comes out of Kadin's nose to put it back in ... they are also very good about GERM-X before having contact with him. I just can't explain how good they have been about Kadin being home ...

We promised Kota a long time ago that when Kadin came home, he would be the first to get to hold him. He remembered that this morning when he walked in the door from spending the night at his daddy's house. He came in and the first thing he said was "Kadin's home, huh mommy?" and of course, I giggled and said "Yes, baby, he's here!" ... And as we were walking to the bedroom where he was, Kota said "Be quiet so we don't wake him up!" It was so cute ... he was even afraid to flush the potty for fear of waking the baby. I explained to him that Kadin is used to a LOT of noise from the NICU and it is quite alright to do our daily things here and talk at a normal level so that we don't get him used to the quiet.

We went to Kadin's bedside and Kota looked at him for the first time ever in person ... he said "Aaawwww!" I asked him what he was feeling and his response was simply "Love!" ... Talk about welling my eyes up with tears. My sweet little 7 year old knows what it is all about. There is no jealousy ... except for Robbi and Kota fighting over who has held him how any times. They are both being extremely helpful. I had to let them know ... that Kadin is as big as he is (8 pounds 2.5 ounces) partly because of THEIR help. I reminded them of ALL those times they waited in the waiting room with the huge chalkboard on the wall, with coloring books, magazines, munchies and snacks, etc. that they were waiting while Kadin grew and got better. It finally fell into place for them - I am so proud of my kids and how they handled themselves and our situation over the past 4 months. We look back at it now and reminisce about the things we did and how we miss certain things. Kota loved the donut holes every morning at the RMH. Robbi loved getting the quarter bottles of water out of the machine every day. They loved playing games with Darren and watching movies. They loved having Wal Mart close and going to McDonalds! So I reminded them ... while we were "living" like that, Kadin was growing so we could all be at the point we are right now. They had HUGE smiles on their faces as we all 4 cuddled on the bed together this morning.

I said I was gonna make this brief but uh huh ... whatever ...

We had several visitors today. My parents came by ... My dad had never seen Kadin either. He was there before he was born but had returned that day to go back to work and was never able to make it back to FW again. Danny's sister Sandy came over for awhile and visited, too. Our dear family friend C'Ann came over and brought a darling little outfit with a monkey in a firefighter helmet! It is ADORABLE! My sister and my nephew came by also and brought some much needed items that I really hadn't thought of ... wipes, shampoo, etc ... plus she bought me an Espresso machine for my upcoming birthday and the goodies to go with it. Danny and I experimented tonight to re-create STARBUCKS and did so successfully .. SO THANKS SIS AND CAM !!!!!!! Awesome ... just awesome!

This week is full for me ... I have appointments and phone calls to make, and court on Thursday (ugh, not looking forward to that at all!) and still some adjusting with Kadin here. It is going to be just fine, though. I am loving having him here and like my precious daughter said this morning, we are "starting all over again" with having a newborn in the house. I never imagined I would be having another baby, but here it is and I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.

Thank you all for being patient on my blogs after arriving home. I know some of you have asked why haven't I written, lol ... cuz you know, I write about EVERYTHING, so this is about all have time for right now. I wanted to publicly thank all the members of the First Baptist Church of Big Lake for the meal that they provided for our family this past Wednesday evening before we went back to FW to get Kadin! It was delicious and very much appreciated. I sent the URL to this blog to the church in a Thank You letter, so if any of you are reading this, know that your love and generosity is very much appreciated in this time for us and will be for always.

God Bless You All!

Leslie and Family

Life

It is an awesome feeling to be home. It is a horrible feeling to be home without our little man, but it is still nice to be home. Danny and I have worked on the house some and tried fitting all of the things that helped make our life in FW back into our home here and we are thinking we just have too much stuff! lol Time for a sale ....

We have walked to the school to get Kota the last 2 days. We have taken the puppy with us to take an afternoon walk. I need to walk anyway, so it felt really good to get out and be in the fresh air and sunlight. Kota loves us walking to get him ... he loves to lead the dog home with her leash! We turned the corner today to come to the house and Kota and the dog just started running. It warmed my heart to see his little legs running down the street with his dog and his backpack flopping on his back. I said to my husband ... "You can't do THAT in FW!" There was no traffic on the road, birds were singing, and just the sounds of Kota and Pumpkin running down the road. Brilliant!

Sounds silly but the sound of cereal pouring in the kitchen, a DP can being opened, the doorbell ringing, sitting on the front porch, opening the windows ... washing our own dishes, cooking our own meals (and as BIG as we want to!) are all things that I am just savoring this week. I mean, I am taking in EVERY single sound, every single sight, smell ... you name it. I am cherishing it all.

This experience has changed me and my family. It has changed who we are forever. We will never be the same again, and that is a good thing. We are much closer, filled with more love, more patience, more kindness and goodness, mercy, joy ... the fruits of the spirit that God wants us to possess run abundantly within this family. Life is so much sweeter when you come so close to losing someone.

We don't have a lot in the way of material things and we don't need them. It's only what's in the heart that matters. I think of the days we were in that small 10x20 room (may not be that big actually!) and had all we ever needed right there with us. EACH OTHER. That's it. God has such an awesome way of showing himself to us ... his gifts are in my children's smiles, their laughter, their jokes, even their tears. You can't begin to imagine how grateful I am for the experiences we have had since October of last year. It has been amazing....Simply amazing.

Possibilities

It is POSSIBLE that Kadin may get to come home this weekend. The Dr. called and said he has had no problems since his last issue ... Should I even be saying all this? I don't want to jinx the possibility of us being able to bring him home. I'm like any other mother that cares for her babies, I want to be with our child. I miss him so much ...

Will update when I have more to say. Thanks for your prayers and well wishes for us all.

Still Numb

Talk about having the life kicked out of you ... I don't think I have recovered.

As you have probably read in my previous blog titled "Numb", we had a hard day yesterday. We knew yesterday was the day we were going to get to take our little miracle home! Danny and I woke up so excited. It was difficult to even get to sleep the night before. We spent the night before doing laundry and getting ready to leave our room at Ronald McDonald the next day after picking up our little man. We were joyful, happy, excited, couldn't believe the time had come ....

We got to the hospital and everything seemed fine. It was time for Kadin to have his bottle, so I sat down and fed him after changing him and taking his temperature. Again, he seemed just fine. I sat with him for awhile during the time that Danny was packing all his stuff. I got him to burp and talked to the nurses ... nothing out of the ordinary for the day, except that this was what we thought was going to be our last time to sit and visit with Kadin in NICU. An oral antibiotic was ordered so Danny and I left Kadin asleep to go fill the med at the pharmacy ... we also loaded the carseat in the truck and grabbed the monitors to take into the NICU to hook Kadin up to before leaving. We were gone about an hour and a half to get everything done.

Upon our return to the NICU, we walked into the unit where Kadin is and the nurses had long faces ????? What's wrong? The nurse taking care of Kadin walked over to me at the bedside and said "We aren't getting an order for him to be discharged. The Dr. will visit with you in just a few minutes." I was like .... "UUUhhhhhhhh.... with my jaw to the ground."

It was like someone had kicked me in the gut, knocked the wind right out of me, like I was having a very bad dream, it was unreal, I was not believing my ears ... I just sunk into the side of his little crib. I couldn't even cry. Disappointment at it's lowest. Then she proceeded to tell me ... it was garbled in some spots, but I did hear that he dropped his heart rate and had to be stimulated ... somewhere in there she said he turned blue after about 15 seconds and something something something .... I heard it all, but couldn't process it for a good long while. I just stood there staring at my precious baby. He looked wonderful. You would never have known he had an issue only a short time prior to our arrival.

Obviously, he wasn't ready to come home. They say how weird it is that a baby can do these things ... they can rock right along and be fine, but the day comes to go home and they "act up" preventing them from leaving. Most of the time it is a very good thing ... the nurse told Danny of a story of a daddy having to do CPR on his infant right after they left the hospital because he quit breathing. That isn't a place that either Danny nor I would want to be. We are thankful that things happen the way that they do, but the disappointment is beyond shattering to your heart.

So ... as most of you know, we traveled home without him. The Dr. suggested we go home, spend time with the kids here waiting on us, get the nursery ready, do more cleaning if we need to, get things settled and ready for Kadin (the bed is up and that is all that we have done!) so that is where we are ... home. It is so hard to not be getting up and going to the hospital. I am glad that I am here for the kids, they missed us so bad and we missed them. Life is in limbo right now and I'm holding it together. I can't wait to go back to FW and pick him up. I had said last time Dr. Stevener suggested we go home that I would never leave my baby ... but this time it seemed appropriate to take care of things at home and get settled back into our routine before Kadin comes. I can't imagine trying to get all this laundry done and rooms cleaned while getting up every 3 hours to feed the baby ... I would be exhausted.

So this is where we are and we sure could use more of those prayers that have so selflessly been said on our behalf. Danny called about Kadin already this morning and he is doing fine, no problems at all, and the nurse said half the time he is wiggling around and his canula is not even in his nose and he is still satting at 100 (can't get any better than that) so wow ... who knows! God has a way and I'm not one to question him about it ... just be thankful that we still have our son and he will be home soon . . .

Numb (repost from 2/22/09 on myspace)

I am numb. I don't even know what to write here. Danny and I are on our way home. Kadin is still in NICU. We were one hour away from loading him in the truck when he had an A&B episode. Dr. Stevener suggested he remain hospitalized until he can go 5-7 days without doing this. We weren't told this information but he has had 3 episodes this week with this same thing but he brought himself back up within 30 seconds without stimulation from anyone. They said we weren't told cuz it wouldn't be something to keep us from going home. Regardless, it is information we would have liked and needed to have known. Had he done this on the road I wouldn't have known he had done it this week ..... you get the idea. Not much more to say right now. Like I said, I am numb. Danny is experiencing his own emotions too. The radio is playing. The ride home is long. Pray for Kadin and for us ... thanks.

This just in ... and we're not telling Kadin ...

The only news I have for today ...

... The Dr. just told us we are going home tomorrow !!!!!!!



Praise GOD!

Past Due Update

Things are going ok for now. I am having to update on the RMH public computer which does not allow me to access myspace for some reason, but anyway ... things are looking great for us and here is a bit about what we are doing...

Kadin has done very well since his infection started on Sunday (or actually the day that it was discovered!) He was immediately started on IV antibiotics and a blood culture was taken. The next day when the surgeon made his rounds, he actually was able to get some "stuff" out of the site and sent that off for a culture also. Both of those cultures came back negative so he is really out of the woods on that. A couple of days after being on the antibiotics, the surgeon made rounds again and was able to squeeze what appeared to be a suture out of his infected site. YAY! AN EXPLANATION !!!!!! It was 10 days after his surgery so we were really quite surprised that he ended up having this issue, but anyway, it's healing very well. We are putting peroxide on it and keeping it covered with gauze and he is doing great.

His IV antibiotics stopped today and we will continue oral meds for a week after we go home. I know he will do fine with those, he has done well with all the meds I have given him orally. His breathing and heartrate are staying in a good zone, so we really just need to go home! He is eating very well, finishing every bottle he is given, burping like he should, loving to be held afterwards, tolerating his baths very well .... and the Dr.'s have said that if everything continues to go as it is right now thru tomorrow, we will probably be out of here on Sunday! I can't wait ... life finally begins outside of the world of NICU!

It's scary, for sure ... not sure how I will be able to handle it, but I don't have a choice! I did learn today that my folks are going to let me work from home so that is good !!!! There is a lot for us to do when we get home, plus, Kadin has Dr. appointments the first week of March so we will be right back up here then for those. His last appointment is March 12th and then he will be finished for awhile. I think we will be able to have referrals to San Angelo Dr.'s at that point. I am very excited about that.

There is a lot more going on in our lives, but I just don't have the time or energy to type about it all. Danny and I are very happy and doing well despite the circumstances we have faced over the past several months. We are stronger together than we have ever been, we lean on one another and are there for each other in absolutely everything ... When I am able to blog about all that I will, and post it on myspace and also on my other blog here on blogspot. Don't know when that will be ... maybe tomorrow I will take my laptop to the hospital and utilize their internet for a little while.

Darren is here this week so we got to see him! It is great, although he is here because he isn't doing as well as we wish for him to be .... it is still great to see him and his parents, and we got to meet his little sister also.

So, I guess look for an update from me later, gotta go now, husband is taking me out for a little while tonight since we are about to be at the "never go out" stage !!!! That's ok ... I can have just as much fun with him at home with the kids as I can going out alone - he just rocks like that!

Have a great weekend everyone .....

Another Delay

This will be quick. We are moving back to Ronald McDonald House again. Kadin has an infection in his hernia surgery site (just one) and they are starting antibiotics tonight to fight it. They said we should be here for another 5-7 days. I am just devestated, but I understand.

I won't have my computer in the room but you can text me if you wish .... Thanks for your prayers.

Someone Always Has It Worse Than You ...

This is a valuable lesson that we have learned while being away from home for the past almost 4 months! (Feb. 27 will be 4 months for me!)

You meet so many people when you are thrust into these types of situations. I know being in the NICU is hard no matter how long your stay but there are people that always have it worse than you do ...

I remember giggling a few weeks ago (to myself of course!) because as I was scrubbing in, a very young couple was next to me talking about how hard it was going to be for them to be here for the week. There was nothing seriously wrong with their baby, they knew they were going home within a few days, yet they were so distraught that they were having to be here. I giggled ... mostly out of nerves, but somewhat because I wanted to say the right thing to them ... I ended up only saying that I prayed their stay was quick one and that their baby was alright.

This is one reason I have not griped about our situation ... I have never questioned "Why me, God?" There are plenty of reasons why we have gone thru what we have gone thru, there are many lessons that have been learned, there is a part of life I never knew existed and we have found it ... and after talking to many people that have been in the hospital and at the Ronald McDonald House, it didn't take long to know that SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE THAN YOU DO!

We talked to a mom in the NICU the other day (who also stayed at RMH with us) who has not only been thru the NICU this time at age 39, but also 21 years ago with her oldest child, and then 4 years later she actually LOST a daughter ... OH MY! My heart just sank when she was telling us. She is an old "pro" at this, but it never gets easy.

We are so thankful for our experience with Kadin coming out as well as it did. He is going home only on oxygen and a small dose of diuretic. All of that will possibly be stopped in one month when we see the pulmonologist anyway ... it's not like he will be on it for months and months and months. He just needs to grow a little bit over the next month. Things could have been soooo much worse for him.

We are so blessed and have been so blessed by meeting so many people thru this journey. I can't even begin to name all the circumstances, but we are very fortunate. We met another mother in our CPR class that told us last night her baby is terminally ill. It broke my heart. His muscles will never develop like they should, which includes his lungs and he will eventually pass. She is so strong and devoted to him. She asked us if we would like to meet her baby. He is precious. You would never know by looking at him that anything is wrong. His beautiful blue eyes just roam around looking at you .... he was a full term baby, too. I remember seeing her in the same room as us (for critically ill babies) and she broke down a lot. I prayed for her from my little section of the room .... and thanked God that we didn't have it as bad as it could have been for us.

I can't begin to explain what this situation has done for my heart. I have always been a tender person, but I am much more tender now. There are still a lot of things that I won't tolerate, but I do believe in goodness and mercy in this world much more than I did before. I believe in love a million times more than I did when we came here. I believe in mankind like I never have before .... I am truly humbled by everything we have been thru in the past 4 months and pray God will continue to use me and our situation for the good of others in our path .....

Rooming In - Day One

It has almost been 24 hours and quite frankly, I am exhausted. I remember how difficult it was to have a newborn and really, that is what we consider Kadin at this point. He will "catch up" at about 2 years of age, but for now, he is a newborn. It wasn't that long ago that I was having to get up every 3 hours to pump the liquid gold, but now, I have several new steps in the process of feeding the baby. I get to prepare his formula for his bottles, change him, take his temperature, and chart it all, too. That happens every 3 hours (8, 11, 2, and 5) so I get 2 hours in between to hold him or sleep or eat or shower or whatever ... They have him on a good schedule here and we can't deviate from it at all unless our pediatrician says we can. We will be seeing him on Thursday after we go home...

We will be leaving here on Monday morning after Kadin sees the eye Dr. We thought we were going to have to go to his Arlington office but he is coming here to the hospital and then we will be able to go ... that is, if there are no problems. It is going to be a long ride home. We have to stop every little bit and take Kadin out of the seat, change him, feed him ... basically stick to his routine while we are on the road. Then we have to stop an hour before we get home and get the oxygen concentrator for the house. It will be nice to finally get home. I have missed my kids ssooo much this week. I know they had to go home when they did or we would not be able to be doing what we are right now.

I have been having some weird dreams. I am not sure where they are coming from but they bother me. I hope next time I lay down and close my eyes I won't be having any crazy dreams.

So many people have stopped by our room to say "bye" to us and many have also said they will stop by again tomorrow or Monday morning before we leave. It makes you feel good that after staying here for so long, people express how happy they are for you that you are going home. Some of the nurses were actually surprised to see our name out on the board outside of our room!

I'm gonna close now ... I only have an hour and a half left before I feed again. And I want another nap, lol. No constant sleep for me for a long time!

This is the end ... and also a new beginning!

We are rooming in tomorrow at the hospital!

Yes, it has finally come. We are going home this weekend and we couldn't be more excited!

Kadin is going home on .25 liters of oxygen. It's just a whiff, but he still needs it. So, this will probably be my last blog until we get home, unless I am able to have my computer set up in the hospital while we room-in with him.

He has changed so much in the last 3 or 4 days. He is eating well, his oxygen is great, he is sleeping well, moving like he should ... everything is just fine. We have been busy making Dr. appts and finalizing a LOT of things. Life at home is going to be much different for us for the next year at least, so we have to make the best of it and just go with it.

Tonight we attended a CPR class. I pray we never have to use it, but if we do, we are prepared.

We have already taken the kids back home and re-enrolled them in school. They are excited and to tell you the truth, so were we ... because of how excited they are about being back HOME and with their friends!

I can't believe it is actually here ... it's been 3 and a half months since I was admitted to the 3rd floor for high risk pregnancies! I couldn't see my way thru it all for a long while, but now, it's hard to believe that we've come this far!

I have said it what seems like a hundred times, but I know that we wouldn't have made it without the love and prayers of so many people. We are eternally grateful for the prayers and well wishes of all of you who have taken the time to keep us in your thoughts and ask our mighty GOD to perform miracles in our lives! We would not be bringing our little angel home with us this weekend if it weren't for a merciful God who is faithful to those who love him! So THANK YOU from the depths of our hearts and know that your unselfishness will be remembered forever and always......

Until we meet again on this journey . . . . . .

The Latest

I have failed now to post the last 2 updates from myspace on here ... I apologize! If you are on my myspace you can go read them there and if not, well ... I'm not sure when I will be able to copy them over. I am pressed for time right now.

We are going to be able to go home very soon. We are waiting on a few minor accomplishments (well, they can be major, but he's accomplished them before, just has to do it again since surgery!)

I apologize for not getting the updates here ... our internet at RMH has been down and I have posted some from my phone ... it doesn't allow for the copy and paste feature of such magnitude!

Keep praying please ....

Kadin's Surgery and Recovery

Wow, what a long day we have had.

When your 3 month old (or any child for that matter) goes thru anything that will cause stress, it really wears on you. You think of all kinds of things. I worried so much last night I don't think I rested while I slept. I woke up this morning solemn about everything because I just couldn't get my baby off my mind. There he was, laying in the hospital, not having a clue what is going on in the world with him. He knows hunger, wet/dirty diapers, and love from his family. He knows the occasional IV, stick in the foot, nurses talking to him and caring for him, respiratory treatments, etc .... but SURGERY? Ok, so he could be considered a veteran after having had heart surgery when he was 10 days old, but really ... again? It was necessary and I am grateful, but just dealing with the stress of hurting because of what he is going thru is very draining. I am wiped out and all I did was sit and worry today!

We got to the NICU about 8:45am or so. We had been told two different things about when his surgery would take place so we decided to get there as soon as possible. We weren't there but about 15 minutes and the surgery team was calling for him. We (or our fabulous nurse Courtney!) had to administer 3 different types of eye drops in his eyes and do it 3 different times. So, we did that and he did not put up any kind of fight. He was resting in my arms. Then the RT came in with his transport bed and I put him in his bed. He was going to town on his pacifier because he had not had any formula since 3am. He had pedialyte at 6am and that was it. So Daddy and I walked from our hospital to Cook's to deliver him to the surgery team. That was all too quick .... the worry set in even more, but I felt ok about it anyway since he needed everything that was done today.

He had laser eye surgery to correct ROP in only one of his eyes. The surgeon showed us pictures of his eyes (very cool pictures, by the way!) that showed how the blood vessels were growing and then showed us what he did to help correct it. Kadin will be examined again in a week and then again in 2 weeks to see if he needs another treatment. The laser surgery was the second surgery he went thru today ... thank goodness they put him to sleep only once and he will recover only once.

First though, they repaired his hernia. He had it on both sides of his groin area and tho it wasn't really a problem, we didn't want it to get that way, and luckily he never developed any issues from it. He has two little bandaids in that area now and there is a chance they could come back but I understood it isn't a big chance.

He came off the ventilator fairly quickly today after the surgery. I was told they gave him some meds to reverse the effects of the anesthesia but when we left this evening he was still suffering thru some of those effects. He was not wanting to breathe for being sooo relaxed. He is now back on the bubble cpap until the effects of the meds wear off, hopefully by tomorrow. He is also not getting any formula either, so little man is going to be CUH-RANKY when he fully wakes up.

So now, we are resting at the room. We finally ate at about 7 tonight and I was so exhausted I couldn't even finish my dinner.

I am just ready for him to recover and get back to the growing he is doing and the process to getting back home. I am so ready ..... *sigh*