Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Quick Update - not much time lately

Just wanted to give a real quick update before we head back to the hospital...

Kadin is doing remarkably well. His Dr. said he was exceeding all expectations at this point. I knew our little man was a fighter. He has been a fighter since day one and with so many people praying for him and us, we can't help but win!

He is now as of today, SIX pounds! I can't believe it. He is growing so much right now. We have been at the hospital a LOT lately because he is taking abou 4-5 bottles a day now and they like for us to be the ones to feed him, of course. He does so well. Amazingly his instinct is unbelievable ... he turns to my breast to feed, but mommy doesn't have any of the liquid gold anymore. After the first time I bottle fed him, I went home and went to bed. I woke up the next morning with a wet shirt! This was after not pumping for several days! But that's all I had and haven't pumped anymore.

I have contacted my mom because she told me she would clean our house from top to bottom for his HOMECOMING ... several nurses and the Dr. said we should start making arrangements to go home ... lining out our pediatrician and other things. I was like ... WHAT??? It's time??? They have said around his due date, possibly sooner, could be later ... just depends on how Kadin does, he's the boss!

I have a lot more to write about but that will be in my other blog on here ... we have been very busy lately and there was no school today for all the ice. Danny said there 366 wrecks in a 12 hours period up here ... wow ... it was coming down GOOD and we didn't dare go anywhere, even the 3 blocks to the hospital!

Alright .... I've gotta take some pics off the camera so we can have some for what we are doing tonight - will write about that later when we get back!

Much love to you all,
Leslie and family

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Our First Bottle

It is hard for me to get in to visit Kadin when it is just me and I have the kids. I am not complaining, but I leave them in the visitation room (it's all enclosed, not open for just anyone to come in) and go visit for a little bit. I missed Kadin's first bottle this morning because I was planning to go at noon. They said he sucked down 43 ml of milk and were waiting for him to burp! YAY! Another milestone. I am so excited for where he is right now. I am just so proud of him.

He hasn't had anymore a's and b's (apnea and brady) and is on 24% oxygen and doing well. I can't believe we have come this far. I know they have all said we are just waiting on him to grow .... I think he's grown! It's here.

Praise GOD!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Let's Do A CHEER ... K! A! D! I! N! YAY KADIN!

Ok so that seems a little silly but I am serious, I am cheering for that little boy laying in that hospital bed right now. You wanna know why? He is such a big boy now ... He was removed from bubble cpap today and put on the nasal canula and is doing FABULOUS! Dr. Sidebottom came in the unit and listened to him and asked why he wasn't on it yet.. ??? I said I didn't know, but that his Dr. mentioned by about Mon or Tues we would try him on it.

I called just a few minutes ago and he is still doing just awesome! He was on 21% oxygen when they put him on the canula and now he is at 23%. They did say that sometimes they have to be bumped up a little bit.

I pray this is the road we have been waiting to get down. Now we just have to wait it out for him to go down on all his settings now on this ... it's a high flow and I believe there is still another step under this one.

The next thing we will be learning how to do is to nipple feed - YAY! I can't wait to give him a bottle and see his little eyes (which I saw clearly today and they are Daddy's ocean BLUE! OMG, I almost screamed!!!!!!) looking up at me while I give him his bottle. I will get to hold him more often and everything now. It is just so exciting for me to know that when I go in I won't have to just sit and stare at him and wait for his feeding, lol ....

I did cry ... shed a few tears at being so proud of our baby! I can't believe how well he has done. Some people were not so faithful in their believing that he would make it, but I couldn't believe anything but he would make it and do well. He is still on the fence with the eyes ... can't decide whether to do surgery or not. I know he will have the hernia surgery right before he goes home, whenever that will be, but it's a simple one and no big deal really.

So ... that's my good news for the day with our little sweet bundle! I can't wait to go see him tomorrow. My mom is coming and she will not even recognize the little toot !!!!!

I'm outta here for now ... got a headache.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Finally!!!!

Here I sit, in my room, WITH INTERNET! I am so thrilled! The only problem, my wireless keyboard isn't working and it would be scarey to let you see how I am sitting!However, I'm not going to gripe cuz I am online with something other than my phone or the computers that are shared downstairs! It's just more personal to be online in your room if you can be. They fixed it today at about 5:30PM, I was taking a nap and woke up thinking we had internet and BAM! Cool ... way cool.

I am sorta sick. Guess it's just allergies since I don't have a fever or anything but it's annoying and I have not been to see Kadin but only once in the past 3 days now. If I am doing better tomorrow I will be there to see him.

Kadin is doing so wonderful, it's unbelievable. If he continues to do well like this by Monday or Tuesday Dr. McGuirk said she will take him off bubble cpap and put him on nasal canula! I am so excited about that. He is currently at 21% oxygen (room air) and doing fine, no desatting or anything. His breathing treatments have stopped except as needed and he hasn't needed so COOL!He is closing in on six pounds. Hard to believe really that he started out at one pound and six ounces!

My liquid gold has depleted. I am confident that it was taking a toll on my body and my body said "Enough!" The Dr.'s said my body knows best and that I have gone far above and beyond what most mom's are able to do and that he has absolutely gotten what he needs from that milk I provided. So now, with that news, I am looking forward to returning back to "normal" whatever that is, lol ... I intended to work out toay but I woke up not feeling well AT ALL and that was enough to deter me to wait til tomorrow if I am feeling better.

Danny has been out working a lot this week, finally. I am proud of him. What he does is a very hard thing to do and he's doing it for us. He is tired and has odd hours, but I'm ok with that as long as he is.

The Rodeo and Carnival are here and our kids wanna go. We will be taking them as soon as we can. I think it's quite expensive, but we haven't done anything in a very long time so ... we'll be trying that out this weekend maybe.

My Aunt Ro-Ro made me breakfast on Wednesday and I sat and visited with her for a couple of hours. She is crazy, but I just love her. It's like having another piece of "home" here while we are here.

We saw JT today. He flew in from DC last night and was heading home today after his trip to the inauguration. He got us some really really nice souvenirs and I was so proud!!! He didn't have to do that, but he did ... and Cassie too. Those two are wonderful. We had pizza with them and Shonda and JT's great-granny. It was good to visit with all of them.

Seems like so much has happened in the last few days that I haven't been able to post about cuz I had no access to do it. There is always someone wanting on the computers downstairs that I hate to tie it up as much as I can sit here and type.So anyway ... that's kinda it for now. I have not had a chance to read anyone's blogs and don't know that I will either.

I am waiting for visitors (TAMMY!) to make plans to come see us. I think my aunt said my mom might come Saturday? I dunno. She hasn't said anything to me about it. I know she is very busy at home with the shop and Cam while my sis works.

I have another blog to write, but it's not the right time for it. I am tore up inside and tired of feeling the way I do about things.

The kids are in the game room right now with a young kid that we met while here. He was here last time we were here and he is soooo cute. His portrait is hanging on the wall and Robbi first saw it and said "Oooh la-la!" ... Then she saw him here and went goo-goo. Well, I asked him if that was him in the big portrait and he said yes, so I made sure he knew my daughter thought he was sssoooo cute! So tonight what happens? He asks Dakota if he wants to play video games with him and Robbi follows. They are all in the game room playing PS2 now! lol Crazy! But they need friends here too and it's nice to know they can go hang out with other kids here and have some fun.

Ok that's enough for now, I got other things to look up while I have internet, lol ....

Love love love,
Leslie

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

More Changes

For anyone interested, we have moved back to RMH and we love it. I was excited to leave here and go to the suites because of being able to have tv in our room and cook in there, etc ... but the kids missed this place with the playroom and outside playground, and I missed having the luxury of riding the shuttle when I wanted! (no parking garage alone or ever!)

I am posting from the public computer in RMH cuz the wireless internet is not working for some reason. I will post from here as long as I can't access anything from my room. They did say that they were going to put in a call to their computer guy today if resetting the router did not work. I have to have internet so I can help my family with some business stuff, plus I check banking information etc when I can.

Kadin is 5 pounds 10.6 ounces today. They said he looks a little puffy. I haven't seen him in 2 days because I am having some scratchy itchy throat and eye stuff going on. We don't need anything to compromise his respiratory system so I have to stay away. Ugh. I miss the little toot. I looked at Danny this morning and said "What am I supposed to do?" My whole day seems shot since I can't go visit. I pray I am not getting sick.Better get off here now, others want their turn and I don't wanna be a computer hog. Hope to hear from you guys!

Kirsten, how was Laynes appt today? I can't wait to hear. I hope he is alright. I prayed for him a lot last night - how did all that go???

Leslie

Monday, January 19, 2009

5 pounds 7.8 ounces

He just keeps crawling up and up and up and up! I know some of it can be fluids he is holding onto but he usually always gains weight from day to day and it is usually a couple of ounces at a time! I just can't believe how big he is ... yall that haven't seen him, you need to come see him!!! You won't recognize him.

My aunt came for a visit Saturday and she said the same thing. She couldn't believe how big he is. Last time she saw him he had just had surgery. He looked like a little old man. Seriously. She said now he looks like a real little baby! I have to admit, with his growth, I am getting more and more excited. One day soon I will be able to pick him up out of the bed and look him in the eyes and love on him, kiss and squeeze him, etc ... and have him respond.

Speaking of responding ... I rubbed his cheek gently the other day and he smiled. I told Robbi to look while I did it again ... AND KADIN LAUGHED!!!!!!!! OMG! I was so thrilled. It brought tears to my eyes. It was so precious. I can't wait to experience more and more of that!

Well, I have a lot to do today and Kirsten is coming and bringing tons of clothes for us, so I'm outta here to get things cleaned and packed up in case we get to go to RMH tonight or tomorrow!

Have a great day blessed friends ....

Leslie

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Our New Dr. Takes Over

The very first Neo we ever spoke with was Dr. McGuirk (hoping I spelled that correctly!). She came into my room on the 3rd floor (high risk pregnancy floor) to talk to us about the viability of Kadin should he be born prior to the 24th week gestation. I was not fond of the things that she said but in hindsight, they had to be said. With hormones raging and emotions high, some of the things she had to say were not welcomed easily, but we know she was only doing what she had to do at the time in order for us to understand our chances with Kadin's survival, not to mention his development later in life.

I would see her in the unit from time to time. She was always nice and seemed to be conducting business like every other Dr. that we saw. I never had any dealings with her other than that initial consultation before Kadin was born....

We found out the other day that she is the Dr. that has taken over Kadin's care, and to be honest, I am ecstatic about it. She called me today while I was getting ready to come visit and I told her I would be there shortly and so she said she would swing back by in a little bit and visit with me. Great ... I couldn't wait to meet her. Setting aside that initial conversation we had with her, I decided I would give her the benefit of the doubt . . .

I am glad that I have an open mind and heart about these things. SHE IS WONDERFUL! She sat and visited with me for about 20 minutes and we really discovered that we are on the same page and that thrilled us both. I enjoyed visiting with her and could really see some positiveness coming from her being our primary dr. at this point. I am really excited about Kadin's progress with her from here on out. She is really excited also about how he is doing and for the first time ever, we heard a Dr. say "He's gonna make it just fine!" WOW! I wanted to cry ... it's always been a day to day, hour by hour basis ... but now, I see us going home. I can't wait !!!

Dr. McGuirk said that he will probably be on the bubble for a couple of more weeks and if his oxygen stays down around 25% or lower we will consider moving him to the nasal canula! I am excited about this because you can be much much much more interactive with the babies then and even possibly start introducing the bottle to them !!!! YAY!!!! I am already holding him during his feeds right now so he is associating me with his full tummy! Speaking of that ... I am producing MUCH MUCH more milk while being on the Reglan! WOW! I pumped about 3 times my normal amounts today! This is keeping me ahead of Kadin even tho he is now getting a little bit of formula.

I am so proud of Kadin and his journey ... like Dr. Porter said before he left, it is really the journey for all of us - Dr.'s, NNP's, RN's, RT's, parents, siblings ... ALL of us are on the same journey and we just hope to end up at the same place in the end!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bitter-Sweet Day ... Good-bye to Dr. Porter

I hated to see this day come. Our most favorite Dr. ever has resigned and is moving to a northern state to practice. We knew this day was coming but man, I wasn't really ready for it. I am going to miss Dr. Porter with everything within me. That man is more than just our son's Dr. - he has been an encourager, a friend, a mentor, a comforter, and we are going to miss him so very much. I don't know how things are going to go for our son, but I pray that his replacement will be just as dear to our hearts as he is!

Dr. Porter called us this morning with an update on Kadin. He is so very excited and pleased with Kadin's progress over the past couple of weeks. It was a little "iffy" about how he would do, but Dr. Porter was confident enough to take the chances that needed to be taken and challenge Kadin to move forward.

During his update, he expressed himself about how he feels about Danny and me. He has expressed these things before, but it is so wonderful to know that you have such a bond with someone, especially someone you have to trust every hour of the day to make sure your child has the best possible care available. We were greeted in the unit this morning by Dr. Porter and he had open arms for us ... I wanted to cry. I will miss him so very much. He is such an inspiring man.

One of the most adoring qualities I love about Dr. Porter is that he is always willing to talk with you. He brings things into a perspective that helps you grasp what is happening, what can happen, what isn't happening, etc ... He isn't afraid to be personal with you and make sure you are doing ok. It's not one of those "How are you?" 's where he is just looking for something to say ... he means it.

I dig people like that. It seems there aren't very many REAL people left in this world. I am just so blessed that we were able to be given the experiences we've had with Dr. Porter. We will truly and deeply miss him .....

On another note ... Kadin is almost 5 pounds! I believe it's 4 pounds, 15.9 ounces. His eye exam yeilded some unexpected results. His left side is abnormal and will probably require some correction, but the right side has not changed much. This means it could be improving ... really it could go either way. We will know more on that in about a week. His feeds have gone up to 39mls and I am not pumping near enough to keep up. My Dr. in San Angelo has prescribed me some meds to help in my milk production and they seem to be working right now. If they have not helped boost my supply enough to take care of what the baby needs they will be starting some formula for him. They are adding some powder to help increase his caloric intake and even one nurse said that maybe my supply is not as plentiful because I might be making what calories he needs without the bulk of milk. His oxygen is at 30%, which is down from the increase over the past couple of days. His picc line came out today also and the nurse was going to try to give him a scrubbing on his little head to get the junk off .... His antibiotics are finished so no need right now for the lines or the meds. Dr. Porter said that he never had the full infection, just the presence of the bugs, which I guess I misunderstood. I understood that he had the infection. Dr. Porter also showed us the most recent xray and it was very good!

So ... ok, we are going to the hospital in a few minutes, taking some more clothes for him (like he doesn't have enough!) and his mobile that my sister bought him long before he was born! I will take pictures !!!

Night . . .

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bath Time

It was sorta unexpected and a little crazy, but we managed! Nurse Laura asked if I wanted to give Kadin his bath today and well, who am I to say "no" ??? I will take every opportunity to do anything with my son!

It was a little production, I can tell ya that! Of course, after getting the hang of it, it shouldn't be that difficult, but making sure we kept the towels clean after I had taken off his diaper was a little more challenging that I had really realized! HOW DO THESE NURSES DO IT??? Practice, I assume. And LOTS of it.

Got him all washed up and clean ... all except for the head since he has the line in there and he's taped up. He now has what they called a "Richard Simmons" bandana on to keep his bcpap on so it doesn't come down over his eyes. He doesn't seem to like that much.

He is not de-satting much at all and if he does, he comes right back up. Everyone is so happy and impressed with his progress. I really can't believe it. I am praying we are able to go home from the hospital sooner than we originally thought.

Walking out of the unit tonight I got a little emotional. When we see the nurses, or the Dr.'s, and even the RT's, they greet us with hugs, smiles, how are ya's, and even lengthy conversations. It has become our life. After all, it's been 10 weeks now that we've been here. I told Danny I will certainly miss these people when we are gone. OH, and I can't forget all the ladies at the front who always call back to tell them we are scrubbing in and to see if it's ok if we come back for a visit. They all know our names (and have for some time now) and when we walk in the door they are already picking up the phone to call back to the room. I will miss all that. This experience has taught me and unbelieveable lesson in love and patience. Not that I didn't already know about either of those, but they are more intense in my life right now.

Kadin is doing so good right now. I am just so pleased with how well he is moving along. I pray that this just continues and soon he is stepping even more forward from the bcpap!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Proud as PUNCH!

Today was an awesome day at the hospital. I just love Donna ... she let me do all kinds of things with Kadin. I guess it just seems the better he is doing, of course, the more interactive I can be with him. I got there and she immediately asked me if I wanted to hold him today. Of course, I was eager to say YES!!! So I changed his diaper and took his temperature first. He got a little mad at me. But one thing I noticed was when I pulled his legs out of the little outfit he had on, he drew his legs up JUST LIKE A NEWBORN does! If you are a mom (and well, even a dad!) you KNOW what I am talking about! Right??? It was so adorable! More and more, as the days pass by, I get so very excited about having another son. Being able to interact with him makes it so very precious, even tho we are somewhat limited. So I changed his diaper (and he decided to desat to let me know he hates it!) and played quickly with his chunky legs! Then I swaddled him back up and got ready to hold him.

He's on 30% oxygen right now. Not sure why the change upwards, but it's ok, he is doing so wonderful. This time holding him, I did not have to sit and wait for the nurse to hand him over to me. I stood at his big boy bed (yes, he was moved to an open crib again last night!) and picked him up on my own and sat down with him in the rocking chair! YAY ME! and YAY KADIN for being so tolerant of it. Donna taped his tubes to my shirt and I just sat there for the next couple of hours during and after his feeding. He only dropped his sats twice and it was for only about 3 seconds each time. I am so proud of that little boy, I can't even tell you !!!!! His face is a little swollen, as is expected being on the bubble again .... even his little eye lids appear to be turning inside out ... I know, how sad, right? But I'd much rather be worrying about that than about infectious lung secretions! Who's with me ?!?!?!

We had another firefighter outfit waiting on us from Hilarie, Preston, and Colton!!! It is sssooo cute! Hil, if you are reading this (or Preston, too) please know that we LOVE YOU GUYS so very much and THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for the clothes. Danny was so touched when he saw the "Daddy's Hero" one ... It means so much to us that you do the things you do! We are pulling for you guys to go home soon, although I know that means we won't be seeing you like we do now.

I didn't go to the hospital tonight because I have such a horrible headache! It started with me probably sleeping the wrong way the other night and has just gotten worse. I FINALLY broke down and took something, ugh .... which for those of you who really know me know that it is like pulling teeth to get me to take medication! I did it though because nothing else was working....nothing else meaning, trying to cure it with caffeine or rest. Wasn't happening!

So, that's all for today! I am looking forward to my visit with Kadin in the morning . . . More then.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

What a little trooper we have!

Kadin is doing awesome today. I pray this "honeymoon" phase this time around on the bubble cpap is an indicator that he is going to fly thru this.

He is now on 27% oxygen, which is much better than he was doing on the vent. He is so stable that they have cancelled his xrays and his blood gases for now. THAT is confidence! I have to believe that this is one of the most positive steps forward that we have yet to take and it can only get better from here on out.

His oxygen levels while on the vent were floating anywhere from 34% to 40% just depending on what kind of day he was having. The goal is 21% - room air - and right now we are only 6% from that. I am on a high right now with this news.

I brought Dakota home for the weekend so that he could spend it with his daddy so I have a lot to be doing right now while I am home. I just wanted to get a quick update on here and to give praise to God for all we have been thru with this experience. I truly wouldn't give this up for the world.

4 Pounds 12 ounces

Miraculous! That's all I can say about it really. I called tonight to get an update and Kadin's nurse said he was doing very well on the cpap right now ... she also said earlier in the night that his gases were better than when he was on the vent! YAY KADIN!!!!

He is de-satting some but brings himself right back up. She also said that he is fighting mad every time she gets in his bed for anything. He's a fighter, she said. Good, I wanna hear that! I don't want my boy complacent in that bed acting like he's giving up! Got way too much of his mommy in him to do anything like that....

And yep, she weighed him - 4 pounds 12 ounces tonight. I can't believe it. My milk supply is coming back up (YAY MOMMY!) which is very good considering he keeps gaining and they keep "upping" his feeds.

I'm so impressed. I pray he continues to do well. We just may make it if he does...YAY US !!!!

It is 1:39AM and I am beat. Me and the kids came home for the weekend and I'm tired. Kinda had a stressful trip home.

More later...

Friday, January 9, 2009

A Bold Move

I don't have but a minute ...

Kadin is off the vent and on the bubble cpap again. His Dr. wanted to make the move today with his lungs looking better on the xrays and him having had one full day of antibiotics in him. He has a Per-Q line in his scalp (sigh), but he will not have to be stuck over and over at this point.

Our latest call to the NICU verified that he is doing WONDERFUL as of right now. I just wanted to get that on here real quick ...

Will update more as I know more.

Infections ... plural.

We talked to the Dr. again today and Kadin has 2 different bacteria growing in his secretions ... one is staph and the other is something that will cause pneumonia. The antibiotics have had a full day to target these infections and he has actually shown immediate improvement both thru the xrays and in his sats ... He did not de-sat one time while I was visiting him this evening. To know Kadin is to know that he doesn't sat routinely high or low, he is all over the place ... weird. But anyway, he looked so good tonight. He was getting his feed and sucking on his tubes ... cute. I tried to give him his paci but it didn't happen. He got mad and clamped his mouth shut! :) Atta boy ... got that stubbornness from his mommy!

I had to sign a consent form for them to insert another PICC line (Per-Q, whatever it's called!) because they had to take his IV in his head out and insert another one on the other side of his head. I understand this is being done (again!) because he is such a difficult stick. Fine by me, I don't like him having to go thru the procedures of having several IV's when ever he needs something like that...

I can't wait to see him tomorrow! I will update as soon as I can.

Night ... or is it morning??

Leslie

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Setback

Just a brief update before I head to the hospital...

Kadin's tracheal secretions from the culture 2 days ago have tested positive for an infection. They were about to start his IV yesterday when I got there, so I spent maybe 5 minutes looking at him and then left. My heart can't take watching him get an IV, especially since it took awhile for them to get it. It ended up being inserted in his head, which they say is a really good place - it frees his feet and hands - but still ... it looks awful. It's necessary, I understand this, but the sight of it is a little uneasy for me.

Antibiotics began yesterday afternoon. Not sure what kind we are getting but they are obviously for a broad spectrum of infections. He will receive this one until the "bug" is identified and then a med to target the infection will begin.

I know these are all aspects of the life of a 24-weeker, but I am ready for him to flourish. I just want to see him "ok" ... I know he will get there when he is ready, so I just keep plugging along patiently.

He now weighs 4 pounds 6.2 ounces! They sent home some of his preemie clothes saying he looks like a tootsie roll in them! :) So I guess it won't be long and he will need newborn clothes. YAY, shopping time! We went to Babies R Us over the holidays (to look at carseats and pack 'n plays) and saw some really cute clothes there.

That's it for now on how he is doing. I am not feeling well ... very very tired and my body just doesn't feel right ... not sure what is going on there, but I have a good guess. It isn't "sickness" or anything like that, but still ....

More later when I know more ... Have a great Thursday!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Letting A Few More Days Go By

So it's Tuesday ... and I am having a hard time sometimes with keeping up with what day it is exactly. It's probably because of us having just got off of Christmas Break. With the kids home, we did the very same thing every single day. Wake up, eat, go to hospital, go home, eat, read, play games, go to hospital, eat, bed, lol ... Every single day! I'm sure there were a few variations, but the past 9 weeks have flown by for me when in the beginning I could not see how I would even make it the first week. Strange how our hearts and minds can become adjusted to such volitale situations and make it work. I never imagined being able to cope in an environment where there is such unexpected changes as often as is in the NICU.

Things have pretty much been the same for the past few days. It's the same road with different scenes now and again ... JT has gotten to spend more time with Kadin and even Robbi has gone in a lot more lately with me. Kota will be seeing and holding Kadin FIRST when the time comes since he has never gotten to see him.

We are still on the vent but he is putting on good weight. Currently, he weighs 4 pounds 5.1 ounces. His feeds have been increased again. I am thinking they increase it due to his weight. He is on 34 mls and is about 16 1/2 inches long. I helped measure and weigh him the other night when Kimber (way cool RN!) was on duty. That Cadillac of a bed is fabulous!

I was able to hold him yesterday with JT in there with me. Kadin did very well. I helped with his breathing treatment also. I held the vibrator on his sides/chest to help break up the mucous in his lungs. Dr. Porter said that it isn't really fluid, it's more like mucous from his body fighting the vent being in there. They have taken a culture (again) of the lungs secretions to see if he is getting another infection. The nurse tonight told me his secretions were a little yellow now, but that he is not acting sick. Not sure what they will do about it except give him antibiotics again and wait it out. Dr. Porter will be gone on about the 14th, so we will have to become adjusted to another Dr. at that time.

There's not really much else to report on him at this time. He is really growing. A nurse that had him when he was much smaller (and who I can quote as saying her paychecks were not nearly big enough for the butt-whoopings he gave her while she was his nurse!!!) had him last night and tonight and commented several times on how big he has gotten !!!! He really is growing ... I'm just more ready than he is. It's been 9 weeks now .... can you believe we have endured this for NINE weeks? Again, I'm ready to get off the ride.

I think I wrote about the eye exams. Something about the zones and stages and something something ... I'm not a Dr. but I understood the basics of what he told me. I will let you know when he has his next exam and what the results of it are.

For now, I'm going to pass out in my bed and TRY to rest. JT went back to Breckenridge today and we miss him terribly.

Buenos noches .......

Leslie

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Our Visit With the Dr.

I am both discouraged and encouraged with our discussion with Dr. Porter last night. Sometimes when I think I have all the hope and faith in the world, something is said or our baby makes a turn that kind of deflates that a little for me. I am not sure what to make of everything that he says, but we just roll with it. I have to admit, though, that some of it makes me a little uneasy, but regardless, Kadin is our son and we love him, now and always.

First of all, they were able to ween him down on the vent yesterday morning and when the Dr. came in last night, he weened him a little further. He is on a rate of 36 breaths per minute from the vent and from watching him last night his settings indicated he was breathing over the vent twice that. As long as his pressures are ok, he does fine, even with the fewer breaths from the vent.

Kadin is now weighing 4 pounds 2.3 ounces. He has meds last night again to pull off the fluid so he didn't seem to increase as he has been the past few weeks. He doesn't look puffy or anything, but the fluid in his lungs is still present.

The goal, as has been this entire time, is to get Kadin off the vent and back to the bubble cpap. After that, the goal will be same ... getting him off the bubble cpap and onto the nasal canula. Then, as pattern has determined, it will be to get him off of that with no extra oxygen! We are only 8 weeks from his due date and that seems like quite a LOT to get thru. I am having doubts about our coming home date and that is driving me nuts. I guess it's fairly common for the Dr.'s to not be able to tell you anything definite about that since it all depends on how the baby will do. He does well, he just doesn't breathe well on his own, which is absolutely to be expected being born at 24 weeks. As the lungs grow, the old lungs are taken over by the new, but it will never be like new healthy virgin lungs. Should we have to stay here longer than February 23, I pray I will have the strength to do it. I am trying to stay positive of it all and believe that he is one day going to all of the sudden just take off and show us all !!!

He had his eye exam on the 1st. He is scheduled for another one a week later. Dr. Porter said there was an indication of ROP but it will be monitored extremely closely. I can't go into details about everything he said because, although I understood what he was saying, I don't know how to articulate that back to everyone else. I do know that Kadin is at level 2 in his retina development and can stay in that level for a long time. He is also in stage 2 of level 2. There are stages 0 to 5 with 5 being retinal detachment. It is not uncommon for a baby to get to stage 2 and regress back to level 0 and be perfect. This is why they will monitor him very closely. If he progresses to a higher level, he will be a candidate for the laser surgery to correct the retinal issues. I asked him if any of that meant he will not be able to see and he said "Absolutely not!" He said it really doesn't affect acuity since they also closely monitor the levels of oxygen that the baby receives. He said it could possibly affect his peripheral vision but that won't be known until later ... So, we are waiting now for the second eye exam and will know more about that later.

He looks so adorable in his bed dressed in his clothes! We have sssssooooooooo many clothes for him now (Thanks to Kirsten/Joshua and to Hilarie/Preston!) I love to see him dressed in his clothes. He is keeping his temperature steady also, but is still in his isolette (with the top up) because it drowns out the noise enough that he can rest well.

Kadins calorie intake has been decreased ... they took most of the human milk fortifier out of the composite and he is still gaining weight! His stools are much better now tho he still has them very frequently. I am still pumping, but with our trip home, my milk decreased a little. I have not been able to build it back up as of today. I pray it doesn't dry up.

Insert Random Thought: My little man just asked me for a "Popper Pepper" ... even tho he is 7 and perfectly able to say "Dr. Pepper" ... he still calls it the same thing he did when he was small. And of course, here is his big brother sitting here talking about what he used to call it ... ROOT-ROOT. Yeah, not sure where that came from but it has stuck all these years. Robbi never cared for it much so there isn't a word she called it. She still prefers water to anything!

I can't think of anything else to update on Kadin right now. Really, other than what I have written about, nothing has changed much. He is just resting and growing. I can't wait to see him today. JT saw him for the first time since he came for a competition in November and he can't believe how big he has gotten.

So ... until my next blog, be blessed and if someone has done something nice for you today or recently, pay it forward. The results are heartwarming and inspiring!

God Bless .....

Friday, January 2, 2009

Missing Our Baby

I don't know how we had the strength to leave FW for a night, but we did it. NYE we traveled home to see family and friends and I must say it was a very emotional time for me. I had not been home since October 27, 2008. I did not really want to come home, but for several reasons we decided a quick trip home would be best. Saying good-bye to our son on Wed. was so difficult. I know he has no concept of time or that we are going home, but it killed me to leave his bedside that day. It was one of the few times that he was really awake and looking at me and responding to my voice and touch. I felt it was as if he was telling me it was ok to go home ... I had said I was not going to come home until I could bring him with me. I knew entering our home would be more than difficult for me. Since Danny and the kids had been home before during my stay in FW, it was not as difficult for them. I entered our living room and broke down. I never dreamed it would affect me so hard. And now, I don't want to leave. My whole world revolves in these walls and we have so many memories here in this house. I am just more than ready to bring Kadin home and begin the rest of our lives.

Robbi had a bunch of friends over for NYE. One of her buddies, Eddie, walked in the door and was sssoooo surprised to see me. He gave me the biggest hug and I cried like a baby. He kept giving me hugs all night long, bless his heart. I just love that kid. I knew when all the girls arrived because the screams were probably heard for blocks! Since we are not far from the sheriff's office, I figured someone from there would be visiting us soon! Anyway ... we rang in the new year with my sister and nephew and all the kids outside! JT is with us also, which is really nice since he is such a busy teenager and we don't see him as often as we would like. Everyone else went to bed but Dakota decided he wanted to try to see New Year's Day thru the end, lol. We argued about it for a little while. I won! YAY ME! Robbi stayed with Anna and tonight at 11PM is the first time we had seen her since then! I don't mind as long as she is happy and having fun!

I was so draggin rear this morning though when Joe called to get Dakota. Since Dakota had been up til past 3 (well ok, arguing with mom about not wanting to sleep!) getting only about 4 hours of sleep was not near enough for him ... or me for that matter, so he slept until about 9:30 and got up. Joe got him a .22 rifle (Davey Crickett, it is the cutest little thing!) for Christmas so every chance that he gets, he takes Dakota to the gun range. Dakota has been asking me if I will go watch him shoot, so today was that day. JT and I went to the gun range and had a great time. We all took turns hitting the targets. It was great fun ... I forgot how much I loved to shoot. I had not done it in a long while - maybe about 12 years! JT's grandpa taught me how many years ago. Every chance he got, he took me outside for some target practice and actually said I was the best aiming girl he had ever known! Quite flattering for him to say that ... never lost my eye, either. Dakota lined out the ammo ... 2 for his daddy, 2 for him, 2 for his bubba, and 2 for mommy ... but somehow it ended up being like 8 for Dakota and one here and there for the rest of us. It was good fun. We really had a good time.

After that we went to my folks house - THANKS FOR THE COMFORT FOOD MOM! I have not seen my mom in a couple of months either. It was emotional to put my arms around her tiny frame. Of course, my sister is just that ... MY SISTER! She is a nut. She and Cam are living in our home to take care of it til we come home and we are sssooooooooo grateful! I woke Dad up from his nap to get a hug. I guess overall, shedding all the tears in the last couple of days has been good for me. I sense it has given me strength to endure the next 8 weeks. I little touch from home may have been just what we needed. Mom made us baked ham, black-eyed peas, corn, mashed taters, rolls, bbq little wiennies and omg a CHOCOLATE CAKE ...my downfall. I drank my first DP in several days. Trying not to do that.

We are about to get on the road in less than an hour. JT is going to a Texas Tech game with his dad tomorrow so he will be picking him up at our suite. I don't want to have to go back to life as we know it there, but for Kadin, I will do ANYTHING. I can't wait to see his precious little face again.

We have called several times since we have been home and there have been no real changes for him. He is now 4 pounds 0.2 ounces and tonight he was weened on his pressures a little bit because his gas came back EXCELLENT! It's what we have been waiting for. Kadin is the King .... he runs this show so we just have to wait on him and take what we can get. I can smell him even now.

We have hopefully good things in store for Danny tomorrow, but I will write about that later. Right now I have to go extract the liquid gold and then get on the road. Happy New Year to my family and friends . . . . .

Leslie